it's official.

we have lived in san antonio, texas for an entire year. 

it has been a challenging year, but we have soo many good times to look back on. i was ready for this adventure in a new state and ready to see why people like texas so much, and ready to do that with jon. it has taken us awhile, but we are starting to really dig it here. 

(i think the polarized sunglasses help. they make everything beautiful)

the day we got here with alex, our two dogs sadie and logan, and the kitty bandit. 

june 8, 2013. 

june 10, 2013. 

jon jumped right into school and has been going full time ever since. such a good student!

 june 13, 2013.

back when i thought it was fun and cute to have chickens living in the front room!

 july 4th, 2013.

in austin with jessie! she spent the summer in dallas and it was a treat to see a friendly face!

july 14th, 2014.

i mean..?

 july 19th, 2013.

right though? it is true what they say, the texas sky really is the biggest one i've seen. and i love it so much.

 july 20th, 2013.

fredricksburg with jon. eating chocolate, learning about their german history and taking in texas' history at the same time. (ah, that simple phrase of defiance just thrills me as a proud american)

 august 22, 2013. 

two skinnies training for a half marathon. pregnant me is lovvvving pre-pregnant me. get it gurl. 

 september 20, 2013.

i joined jon at UTSA for my final semester of school and was admittedly very confused with my california/texas mishmash of outfits. but my goodness are those boots comfortable. 

october 11th, 2013.

 yeah.

 october 12, 2013.

we fell in love again lots of times over this past year and i mean lots of times.

 october 13, 2013.

awww our babies at church. the 4/5 year olds which we moved up with in january to teach them as 5/6 year olds. they were so happy when we told them about the baby. it was easter and one little girl said "have a good easter! and have a good baby!"

 november 3, 2013.

we moved into the third floor at the house after completely and utterly renovating it. it needs work, but that flag though.

 november 6th, 2013.

new braunfels is right outside of san antonio and is a little german town. since this family loves germany, we always go to germanfests, wurstfests, bierfests, the works. when jon's dad and step mom were trying to recruit us to move to texas in august 2012, we went to a german festival where my FIL sang along to all of the songs and held up his drink as if it was a bier stein with all the other drunkards. jon sang along too and i think that was the moment i knew we wanted to move to texas although that feeling could have come a couple hours later when we were at the AT&T center watching the professional bull riders, but who knows.

 november 6, 2013.

this family doesn't go out a lot, but when they do go out…they go all out. fooooood. 

 november 17th, 2013.

ran our first half marathon. together but separate.

 december 7th, 2013.

ran our second half marathon, this time together the whole time and it was one of the funnest things we've done together.

 december 15, 2013.

visited the alamo quite a few times. although some of the details are still fuzzy and hard to remember, it is an amazing and spiritual place to be. 

 january 6, 2013.

bought a car! now it's safe to say that we sold my nissan and bought this toyota as baby prep. we can't wait to have a little toddler making a mess of our leather interior!

january 11, 2014.

got treated to a nice group meal from my place of employment and were really into being the sober ones.

 february 15th, 2014.

jon will kill me for posting this but it is just too lol. we are part of a group at the san antonio museum of art called young friends and we meet for art things and have a season pass at the museum. its alright, the museum itself is tiny. (especially compared to those in san diego and la, but we take what we can get) this night we went to a surprise party for a friend from work in a nice downtown loft and afterwards came to the art party. this is jon rocking out to the live music and making me laugh so much.

 march 5, 2014. 

heyyy we even got pregnant this year. maybeeee the most notable thing so far.

march 29th, 2014. 

we went to disneyworld!!! i need to write about it because it was the bomb.

 april 7th, 2014. 

saw our little baby for the first time and could see the tiny heart beating. while we were watching it, we saw it move (it looked more like a full body twitch) but its the cutest thing we've ever seen and it has made us laugh to imitate it ever since. 

april 27, 2014.

eeeeek my father and father in law got me a bow with arrows for my birthday!! it is from the 70's, has a 35lb draw and i'm proudly getting better. the other day i almost did a good job imitating katniss when we heard a bunny in the wilderness but i'm still quite stumbly loading the bow, hahaha. 

april 27, 2014.

enjoyed sadie and logan so much. every single day i'm grateful to have our dogs here. logan makes us so mad because he is OCD about biting/scratching/licking anywhere on his body but his puppy eyes and excitement to be outside in the morning makes up for all of it. and the way he puts his ears forward and cocks his head to the side when i go upstairs or leave the house without him makes my heart break in a good way. cutest dog ever. sadie has some quirks of her own, her incessant barking/whining at jonathan when we are in conversation and her ear piercing bark when the doorbell rings, but it's pretty endearing that she waits all day for jonathan to get home and interrupts our conversation because she just has so much to tell him about her day. we are both so happy to have them.

april 28th, 2014.

finally scratched old timey photo off of our bucket list on my birthday!! we went downtown to take them and it was so much fun! i was only 12 weeks along, but the corset was most uncomfortable. jon looked swoonie in his getup and it was all around fun.

may 11, 2014.

celebrated FOUR YEARS together!!!! i'm wearing my necklace from jonathan and we are posing by his clementine tree from me. more on that later.. :)

june 8, 2014.

cuterton almost didn't make an appearance, but here he is. we've enjoyed his company too and we are so glad that everything worked out so that he had a home while we were between homes and was able to move here with us. 

we are so happy together and are looking forward to another year here in san antone.

so far the things we love about it are:

the green scenery and blue sky.

family.

the bbq.

fredricksburg.

homegrown peaches.

the riverwalk.

a quote from our favorite song right now:

"It don't matter where we go, we'll never be alone. Anywhere beside you is a place that I'll call home."

more utah before i go back to utah.

yep, i am going to utah tomorrow for my best cousin friends wedding! jon is in school and can't come with me, which makes me sad, but i know i'll have a blast!

back to our vacation...

finally got to meet this baby. he is so tiny and well behaved and all around adorable. i didn't get any pictures with his mother or my sisters but i promise we had such a fun picnic, it's always fun to catch up with emma.

another favorite tradition of ours when we go home is golfing with gare. usually at mick riley since it's the cheapest and most convenient. while my dad was in town, we went to the JW Marriott right down the street from our house and toured the TPC golf course. the big tournament was there just a week after my father left. he was getting souvenirs and picked a shirt off of the buy one get one half off rack. i asked him who gets the half off shirt and he said "whoever jumps on it first". jon is more likely to wear a polo shirt, so we picked one out for him and it just happened to be the same color as gary's…….just kidding. they totally picked the color to match each other and it paid off later when they matched while golfing. we missed our uncle bud this year, he wasn't feeling good. usually we get two carts so we can all ride, but since there were three of us, we just got one cart. i very quickly realized that riding in the cart probably wouldn't be for me that day. all the bumps were making the baby very upset. (green pukey face)

for memorial day we always drive up to the franklin cemetery, we've been doing it forever. when i was little, my grandma knew every single person at the cemetery and it was always fun to talk to the old people who knew my dad when he was young. this year we went the saturday before to clean the headstones and take the flowers up. it was a warm, sunny day! i was about 16 weeks at this time.

we stopped at Big J's afterwards and got ice creammmmm! that little boy doesn't look happy, but i'm sure he was. (amanda sent me the photo from the other car)

check this out. jon's parents lived in germany for about three years, and that's where jon was born. they have so many awesome stories about life in germany living above a little bakery, smelling the fresh bread every morning. his mom has told me about the walks she would take jonathan on in his german buggy along the cobble stone streets. when we told his grandma we were expecting, she told us she's been keeping his buggy safe for us and she was right. it is in excellent condition and i almost lost my cool when she unveiled it. i'd heard about it, but i was not expecting it to be so adorableeeee! i can't wait to push our little baby around the neighborhood in this.

remember what i said about katie sending us home with all of her baby items? we weren't joking. jon's car was packed full with all of his camping stuff (haha) plus the cradle that my sisters and i used when we were babies, a little dresser of my gran's, tubs of clothes/blankets/burp clothes/everything, jon's buggy, andddddd a crib that we bought at down east for $144 that we simply couldn't leave utah without. we don't know much about babies/cribs, but we think/hope it was a good deal. we had our eyes on a $100 crib from ikea, but liked this one more since it's not painted and the fact that it was a lot more sturdy. hopefully all our babies can use it. it was a successful trip home for the baby and makes me feel ready. isn't it cute that i don't even know what babies need besides clothes and a place to sleep? this will be fun!

sunday walks.

on memorial day the whole family hiked up to donut falls. jon and i hadn't ever been, and it was a lot of fun! i get bummed out hiking to water destinations and not being able to even put my feet in, but whatever. the trail was crowded but we still had fun with good company. my dad had a big bbq for our friends and family that night and it was delicious! it was our last hurrah as we were leaving early the next morning. i hate goodbyes, but it wasn't so bad knowing i'd be back in a few short weeks!

can't wait to see these happy children!

because we love utah so much that its unhealthy.

while jon was having the timeeeee of his life on his annual moab offroading trip, i spent monday-saturday slaving at work, wishing the days away so that i could be in beautiful utah with my babos and so many of my loved ones!!!!!!! luckily, the week wasn't that bad for me as i revert to deployment/self reliance mode quite quickly and i actually enjoyed the free time i had to take the dogs on walks and talk to myself in our bedroom. 

finally saturday evening came when i was landing at the salt lake airport to be picked up by jon! the weather was perfect. the mountains were perfect. and the streets were perfect. (i mean, where else do people know how to drive and are spoiled with really nice freeways/roads?) we met up with kalie and spencer at cafe rio right before they spent ten days (the whole time we were in utah) in mexico, lucky!

the next day we went to church with jon's family and shared the good news! then my babies came over and we all got to enjoy gary's cooking and the dog/poop free backyard. a couple notable things: i asked gary to make his infamous beef jerky that he hasn't made in 10 years and when i walked in after jon picked me up from the airport, there my dad was making me jerky. another, audrey pretended to read me a story/note and said "dear aj. you are the best, greatest aunt ever! i love you sooo much! love audrey." i have the best niece and nephews in the whole world because they make me and my sisters all feel like we are their favorites. they've mastered that early on and i love them for it.

about 15 weeks. 

(in my new dress and necklace from my sisters on my dads perfectly manicured lawn!)

monday morning jon and i thought it'd be super fun if we drove up the canyon and hiked to lake mary. jon was yelling at me because i was 'running late' and i was getting mad because i kept telling him we had no where to be so why are you rushing me!!!? he said "i want to beat the heat!" you guys, he really said that. we are so not used to winters. we got up to brighton and the ski lift was obvvvvvvviously covered in snow and our attire obviously didn't work with that. jon quickly apologized. i understood since we usually really do have to 'beat the heat' here in texas. we found a little trail to hike called dog lake. we only walked for a hiked for a little bit as we had things to do, people to see. it was so nice to soak up the view of the mountains from the mountains and see the wildlife. we saw two deer so close to us that didn't mind our presence at all.

food photo #1: i meant to send this to emma but now she gets to see it here. i know corn dogs aren't the greatest for humans/pregnant women but my goodness had i craved these and she understands.

food photo #2: Maceys? never heard of it but best  <$2 i've ever spent.

huge!

this was the almost end result. we shared!

the next day was cutie girls preschool graduation. she was so cute singing her songs and although it seems like a little thing, i was so grateful to be able to go to it since we've missed so much living far away. 

we celebrated afterwards with rita's custard which was good not great but i couldn't handle watching this baby eating my ice cream with such joy.

katie claims she is done having babies which breaks my heart but at the same time makes me happy because i can't imagine spreading my love to one more of her adorable children. it is a good thing for me because she saved all of her maternity clothes and baby clothes/items for us and i am so happy!!!!! we aren't going to find out the gender of our little one which makes buying clothes for him/her interesting. she sent us home with a tub of girl newborn clothes and a tub of boy newborn clothes. (along with blankets, hats, burp cloths, accessories…i could go on and on)

so what will we be donning on little hagerman? these:

or these:

audrey was cute about our baby/my belly the whole time we were in town. she would come up and rub my stomach and ask about the gender. she thinks the birds are going to have a boy and we are going to have a girl. we'll see!

speaking of the birds!:

we spent a night restaurant hopping with them and had so much fun. we started with apps at the dodo which i couldn't be happier about. kim on the other hand thinks it was the culprit of the night spent tossing her cookies. 

our next stop was up the canyon at ruth's diner. jon and i shared a burger and we all shared fried pickles and okra which we obviously didn't love. our final stop was A&W for root beer floats/freezes. mike was making me absolutely sick with his driving but was surprisingly sweet when he let us go to a&w instead of where he wanted to go for dessert. maybe he won't be such a bad father after all…….
more to come on the rest of our trip!

first trimester blues.

To sum up the first trimester in one word: hell? 

The first few weeks I was mildly sick and very hungry but by the time 6.5 weeks hit, I was bed ridden. I am notttt the type to stay in bed or on the sofa watching movies and shows all day, but for one month straight that’s about all we did. Jon loved it! He could watch movies for days!

my shifts at work are either 730am-230pm or 230pm-9pm. My ‘morning’ sickness was especially bad at night, but mornings were awful too. I would wake up and try to get ready but end up just sitting on the rug in my closet trying to get up the strength to put clothes on. Since I work at a hair salon, I’m supposed to have my hair and make up stylish and look like I paid between $45-65 for makeup and between $43-63 for my haircut. That’s a lot to ask a newly pregnant woman. If I wasn’t sitting in the closet, I was sitting on the toilet (lid down..) doing my hair and makeup as fast as I could while I sat. one morning in particular I had slept in, giving myself only 5 minutes to get ready before I had to leave for work. I am always the first one at the salon and the only one with a key to let all the stylists in, so it’s pretty important that I get there on time. I had to eat every hour and a half (not an exaggeration) and if I didn’t, I was pretty much crippled. When I woke up late, I was freaked out because I had time to brush my teeth and get dressed and would have to do my hair and make up at the salon. Jon had woken up with me and I was an anxious mess because I didn’t have time to eat breakfast. He made me toast with butter and sent me on my way. Although he was making me late, he leaned in my window and reminded me to breathe and told me “you’re really worrying me”. I drank water and took two bites of toast on my way to work. About 3 minutes from the salon I pulled over and threw up in the sonic parking lot on a busy street. What interested me the most was the fact that I had eaten almost every hour the entire day before, and had eaten a full dinner RIGHT before I went to bed (like 9pm) and had woken up to eat a granola bar around 1am but the only thing that came up was water and my two bites of toast. That’s a fast metabolism, my friends.

So mornings at the salon were hard as well as evenings, since that’s when I was typically the sickest. I was nauseous all the time and although I knew I would briefly feel better if I ate, it almost made me cry every time I tried to eat something because the thought of eating while nauseous was so bad. Even now, at 15 weeks, jon can barely make suggestions on what or where to eat or talk about food in general because it makes me feel so yucky. I’d wake up almost nightly with hunger pains so bad they’d bring me to tears. Jon was such a sweetie to walk four flights of stairs down to the kitchen and four flights back up to force feed me while I moaned and groaned in the wee hours of the morning. He never complained or made me feel like I was ‘playing it up’ or anything.

We went to Disneyworld when I was about 7 weeks pregnant with my cousin john robinson and his wife kat. We hadn’t told extended family or friends we were pregnant, but obviously we had to tell them!!! As we would be spending four days straight with them and they’d wonder why I was crying in the middle of the night and why jon had to feed me like a little baby 15 times a day. So for three days, I rode rides, took zofran and tylonol as often as healthy and ate. Non. Stop. my cousin is a big boy who loves food. Everytime I had to stop and eat, he ate as well while our spouses watched us. on about day 1 and a half john r. said to me “aj, I’m really trying to keep up with you”. I was very grateful to have an eating buddy, although it did seem to pain him almost as much as it pained me to eat so much so often, haha! He also said to me “I am going to be so mad at you if this whole pregnancy thing was fake and just a good reason for you to act like a super baby.” He was joking of course and I apologized profusely for being a bit slower than I’d normally be and requiring more rest stops for eating but he assured me that I was a ‘champ’.

At the 13 week appointment my doctor told me I should start feeling a bit better. She gave me medicine (diclegis) that has helped A LOT and said I can start weaning off of it within the next few weeks. I’m already feeling better and I can tell because before I came to utah I did laundry, vacuumed and cleaned our room! Man, during the first trimester all I did was work, then come home and moan and groan in bed. Jon would drag me out to go on walks, which really did help. On one walk, we went too far before turning back and I got so hungry that I had to sit on a rock and try not to cry while he hurried home to get the car to drive me to freebirds to get a salad that i don’t see myself ever wanting again.

All those weeks that I was so sick and feeling so unlike my usual self, I just kept thinking about all the women who have had it much worse in their pregnancies. I felt stupid for letting the morning sickness keep me in bed and thought about those who threw up constantly, not being able to keep anyting down. I was so sick, but only threw up 2 and a half times. (half time was when I ate too much cereal then brushed my teeth right after and brushed my tongue too thoroughly then half burped/half threw up into the sink. Not pleasant). As sick as I was, I wasn’t getting dehydrated from loss of fluid and wasn’t making any hospital or doctor visits. In those short weeks that I was eating just to survive, I thought about how emotionally draining (damaging even) a difficult pregnancy would be for those who don’t get better after the first trimester. I was never angry at the baby or angry about being pregnant, however and always felt blessed to have this opportunity to carry this tiny baby. Thinking back on my sad, sick, unrecognizable self, I recall one of my favorite quotes from one my favorite books, the perks of being a wallflower. Charlie says "Even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad." And it is true. I wasn’t as sick as I could have been, but I was so sad that I couldn’t laugh and joke around with jon, go out and see friends or enjoy things I’d normally enjoy. yes i could have had it worse, but it doesn't change the fact that i was sick and sad. 

at the time i really didn't feel like i was being that needy during the first trimester, but looking back…wow. jon would wake from a dead sleep and feed me food that i did not want to eat. he'd look at me so helpless and sick in the kitchen chair and just have to guess what to make me for dinner that i could choke down. he let me mope and whine and get frustrated and was always there to listen and encourage me. he's been excited about our baby since the very beginning and always says "i can't believe you're pregnant" when there is a lull in conversation. 

all in all, the first few weeks were rough but we are on the up and up! we're in utah now visiting friends and family and been so fun to talk to them about the future mr./ms. hagerman. we've gotten a few gifts even!!!!!! plus my sister let me go through all her baby items and take anything i wanted, which is not only a big help but is very, very sweet of her.

it is 10:04pm which means its 34 minutes past our bedtime. goodnight.  

4.29.14

12 weeks.

babies on the brain.

if you know jon and i at all, you probably know that the thought of children practically repulsed us for the first three years of marriage. sure, i could picture us having a baby someday. someday wanting to wake up multiple times through the night to sooth a screaming baby/eventual child. but life in san diego was perfect as it was. just the two of us to worry about. taking weekend getaways, going to mcdonalds at 10:30pm even though we were already snuggled into bed, saving money and even spending money on silly things like iPods and fancy watches. life was pretty good with me and my lover spending all our time together, not having to share with anyone.

the first thing that started to change our mind was jon's dad. the man is a self proclaimed grump, but when he is in the nursery at church he is all smiles. it was fun (and weird) to be in the same ward as our parents when we moved here, and sometimes we'd stop at the nursery door to peek in at john at kathy with the kids. the little kids love john and he loves them, kind of heart warming really. 

but what really did it was the ward trunk or treat. it's this stupid thing that mormons do to get all the kids together to have safe fun. jon and i went to ward activities just the two of us for three years in san diego and never felt weird or out of place! maybe it was our matching skeleton costumes or the fact that jon's was a tiny bit too revealing, but the moment we pulled up to the activity we felt like complete and utter creeps. how weird is it that a mid-twenty's couple was showing up to the kids activity and not only that, but dressed for the occasion! with no kids of their own! i sat in the passenger seat giggling and blushing (if i could blush) while watching jon struggle to remove his skeleton outfit to put on regular clothes in hopes of not appearing so creepy. i've never seen the man more embarrassed in my life. not even one of the first times we hung out when he spilled water on the carpet at my dads and he kept saying repeatedly "I'm so embarrassed". unfortunately for him, he really does have the potential to blush and boy was he! his face was bright red and he was not laughing. needless to say, we stayed in the car to change into normal clothes, briefly discussed going to the event, and quickly decided to leave before anyone noticed we were there. that night we talked about why this activity was different from all the kids friendly activities we attended in san diego. we both knew that it was not because we were at the age to have kids (some couples can't or don't have kids until much later and some have four by the time they're our age!), but because we were at the point that we were both ready for kids. it was a weird thing to discuss having a baby with jon and not having either of us cringe and roll our eyes, although there was much nervous laughter.

we were training for a half marathon on november 17th and another on december 7th. i would graduate soon after the 7th, so we decided i'd cease birth control very soon after that. one day after school, jon and i pulled into a hotel parking lot to call the hospitals and discuss their baby plans. after we made the appointment for my iud removal, we just sat there in silence. once we had decided we wanted to have kids, we wanted one pretty darn soon! it was weird to be thinking about having a baby so seriously when for so long it'd been the last thing on our minds. 

so we 'tried' in december and the symptoms of being off birth control for the first time in four years were similar to the signs i thought i'd see when pregnant. one in particular was my hunger. while i was in utah over christmas, my dad (very condescendingly) said "ugh. you act like you haven't eaten in three days!" 

i started my period at the airport in baltimore, maryland a couple days earlier than expected and jon and i were surprisingly sad! again, i started my period in february. i was so emotional that jon asked me if i was upset that we weren't pregnant. in all honesty, i told him no, i wasn't sad yet. i expected getting pregnant to be difficult and to be a long process. i told him it would be alright if it took a few months because it would give us time to save some more monies. 

another week later, we had a biggggg fight. we rarely fight, and this was a big one. jon wanted to buy this old $2,000 truck and i wanted to put that money elsewhere. we were going on a walk together and i was crying so much. i told him i was very, very unhappy and that i wanted to see a counselor to talk out my issues. i really felt like i was depressed and had been for a long time. isn't that crazy how that works? i wasn't depressed, and although it was a very difficult transition moving in with the in laws, i was actually happy to be anywhere with jon. but at the time, i actually felt very sad. well, that was me like 2 weeks pregnant!! 

i was supposed to start my period on a friday and the sunday before that, i told jon that i wanted to take a pregnancy test. when we decided to start trying for a baby, we bought a single pregnancy test that i would take if and only if i missed my period. i had not been feeling like myself (remember our unusual fight?) and my stomach had been feeling really bad. earlier in the week i told jon that if i wasn't pregnant, something was very wrong. so i took the pregnancy test and waited. two minutes later: a faint positive sign. i couldn't believe it and jon couldn't either. we'd been trying for three months?? this doesn't happen. so we went to target to get another pregnancy test and some ingredients to make this awesome corn and jalepeno dip in the crock pot. I’m the first to say that keeping the Sabbath day holy is not our forte, but living with the parents we’ve tried to be better about it (or more discreet?). that Sabbath though, we openly went to target and bought ingredients for an appetizer I didn’t need to make. When I got back, I told john, my FIL, what I was making and he said “just had a craving?” again, if I could blush I’m sure I would have.

 About a week and a half after we found out (and two positive tests later), my dad came into town and we decided that although I was very early on, we wanted to tell him in person. So we did! And his first reaction was “what are you thinking?? (with a big grin)” I mean, valid question. Living with the parents, no real job or insurance and all… he hugged me and said “that’s exciting!” and immediately got his phone out to start researching options as well as pretend to tweet to the whole family the big news.

That same week, john asked jonathan if I was alright. If there is a nice word for ‘complainer’, that’s me. So when I’m sick, it’s hard to hide it. I have perpetual stomach issues anyway, starting from when I was young, but he noticed that lately I had been sick and said to jonathan “she’s just so hungry”. We told his family the day my dad left and I told my sisters later that week via snail mail which kept me bed ridden for a full day thanks to morning sickness/anxiety over their reactions. Katie called first and when I said hello she said “HELLO?” I said “hello?” and she said “hello??? That’s how you’re going to tell me?? I almost didn’t get the mail today!” happiness, excitement and congratualtions ensued. Amanda called me the next day with yells/screams that I could not make out but it was all in excitement! Two days later, lizzie hadn’t gotten her letter yet so jon and I skyped her and told her the good news “face to face”. It’s safe to say she did NOT expect that! I loved seeing her reaction and hearing my other sisters reactions. Kim and alex were next which were also over skype and kim screamed. Very shortly after we told her she asked jonathan very nonchalantly if he could finish his school at the universeity of utah. It was all very sweet and something I do not want to forget.

I had my first doctors appointment at 8 weeks and seeing that tiny heartbeat and little bean move on the screen was surreal. I’d been so slow to accept the fact that I was actually pregnant for fear of miscarrying and some guilt. I still can’t quite understand why it is so easy for some couples to get pregnant, and so difficult for others. Honestly, my excitement was a bit overshadowed by the guilt I felt for getting pregnant so quick. I told jon so many times that I would have tried for months longer if that meant I could shorten someone else’s trying time by the same amount of months. I understand that isn’t how it works and that most women trying to get pregnant would probably encourage me to be grateful and not sorry for the short amount of time it took us to get this miracle of life and I am, I really really am.

The first appointment was interesting and had some highlights like the doctor telling us she was going to look for a second baby because I had been so sick and then not following up with “nope just one” or “yep there is two”. (I had to ask her and no, there wasn’t more than one) another highlight was when I told her I felt like I was already showing and she said “its probably because you’re eating so much”, which was/is true. Everything went well and after that appointment I felt ready to accept that we had one on the way and start thinking more optimistically.

I’ll write a post about the first trimester. We just had a 13 week appointment and heard the heartbeat! It was so fast (155bpm) and the baby was very low down in my abdomen. Hearing that he or she is doing well was just as good as seeing it move at the first appointment. Jon and I are so excited and can’t wait for the next chapter in our lives to begin in the form of a screaming, helpless little baby. Even if that means getting up more than three times in the night.

(and to top it off, we are due on veteran's day; November 11th.)