wk 44.

birthday girl at the one and only ikea. 

coming home. pt 1.

jon and I are going to be on tv.

you read that right. 

a little snippet of our story is going to be on the show 

'Coming Home'.

ever heard of it?

the first season started a couple months ago, 

while jon was still away.

i'd watch it every monday. bawling my eyes out. 

on march 7, i was watching the previous nights episode online, and saw that they were looking for more stories to feature...

i thought to myself hey, why not? and sent them our story. 

march 9th, they responded. 

Alexandra,

Thank you for writing to us.  Do you know the window for your husband's return?  Where in CA are you stationed? What is his unit?

All the best to you and your family.  Thank you for your service.

we wrote back and forth, and on march 14th, she sent me a questionnaire to fill out. 

i was starting to get a little bit worried.

for 6 months, jon and i had planned on having just the two of us at his homecoming, so we could hug and kiss and talk and just look at each other. so we could get reacquainted and catch up on lost time. it was going to be a romantic reunion, just husband and wife after a long 7 months, not having to worry about anyone but us at that moment.

would having a camera crew there ruin it? would they be pushy? would it be awkward? 

i had no idea what to think.

a couple days later, march 16th, i filled out the questionnaire and returned it. 

the plan was based loosely around surprising his dad. 

well, they liked that idea. 

she emailed me back promptly, 

and asked for a few photos of jon and i. 

luckily, we aren't hideous. 

she called me. 

she asked if we wanted to be on the show. 

i told her i'd think about it, this was a lot right now, 

and i had to wait until jon called me so that we could discuss. 

i had signed us up without even thinking very much about it. i had no idea that this would actually be something that we could do. it didn't seem like they would ever choose us. jon and i hadn't even talked that seriously about it. jon had never seen the show.

when he called me that night, he said someone from camp pendleton had called him in afghanistan. (umm....where was that number when i had something to talk to him about??)

they were encouraging him to do it. they wanted someone on the show to give the marine corps a good name. he told them he wasn't sure if we were going to. so we talked about it a little bit. i told him more about the show, and told him about a father/son reunion they had on the last weeks episode. we were both silent for a minute. then, jon said he wanted to do it. 

so i called the producer. 

i told her i was nervous and wanted to know all of the details. 

she offered to go to coffee and discuss all of this. 

so on March 29th, i met with her and decided that we would definitely do the show.

then i REALLY started to get excited. and. um. NERVOUS.

i called john (jonathan's father) asap. just to get it over with. 

"hi."

"hi..."

"so....someone nominated us to be on a military documentary. the show contacted me and asked if you and i wanted to be on it. they're looking for a military family to feature. they want to fly you out here for jon's homecoming. and want to interview you. what do you think?"

"of course. i'll be there. i would love to see him come home."

luckily, he was somewhat busy, so the conversation was brief. 

everything was set up! the producer and i kept in really close contact. she got jon's step mom in on it as well. we definitely needed an insider to keep john preoccupied and not questioning too much. she got their plane tickets for tuesday night, april 12. jon was set to come home april 10, the sunday before. 

john was under the assumption that his son would be returning home april 15 or 16th.

jon's little brother, alex, actually told jon's little sister kaitlyn when exactly jon was supposed to come home.

kaitlyn told her dad, john, that jonathan was coming home sunday.

john told kaitlyn that she and alex were wrong.

WHEW!

april 9th.

this happened:

 the coming home crew came into my house, 

and exploded their stuff all over my living room/everywhere.

 moved things around and added cute drapery...

and interviewed the S out of me. 

my, my, my. it was quite the experience.

i know i sounded like a total tool talking. 

i'm so nervous/embarassed to watch it.

the camera guy was probably 50 years old. skinny. 

known for wearing stripes. very funny.

he used powder to de-shine my face and burt's bee's lip balm to calm my fly-aways. 

as he was taming the fly-aways, he said,

"oh come here....just one hair...oh, now his friend needs to be fixed....come on. ugh, these guys are trying to get their own show."

too funny. 

while i was sitting on that chair, i was trying to hard not to fidget. 

i kept moving my feet and didn't even notice.

the sound guy from behind me,

"is she moving her feet?"

producer/interviewer,

"yes. she is.

alexandra, can you not move your feet around?"

they were really, really sweet about everything, 

but it was nerve racking. 

they interviewed me for about an hour. then tranique came over, and we made brownies and talked while they were filming us hanging out. that was the best part because tranique has been on camera a lot and totally kept the conversation flowing and made me feel a lot less awkward.

it was such a fun day, the crew was the funniest. 

the next day was jon's homecoming.

ah, i could go on and on.

jon's mom and her family decided to come out for the homecoming, so i invited my sister, amanda, to come with me to ease the tension and keep me occupied. 

i was SO glad she was there. 

we got to camp pendleton, um...a little late. 

the crew was waiting and strapped the microphones onto us quickly.

they filmed us talking about the deployment, the homecoming and everything else for the few minutes before jon got on base. it was so awkward just standing there talking to amanda, we are both very camera shy, but we got through it. 

then the moment came, where i was reunited with my lover. 

you can see the microphone thing on my back in this photo.

to be continued...

the surprise and post interviews...



also, lets celebrate me and the fact that this is my 300th post. 
thank you in advance. 


Double Scoop Photography.

wk 43.

exploring the US Grant during our stay. 

pure luxury. 

sweet, sweet relief.

Double Scoop Photography.

finally.

wk 42.

holding the rose kim brought for me, 

and waiting for jon to come off the bus.

ups and DOWNS of deployment.

its not quite over. 

and the closer it gets, the harder it gets. 

the days are getting slower, longer.

i've been running full speed.

running full speed for seven months, not slowing down.

i couldn't slow down or else i'd realize just how bad it really sucked.

so i ran.

i lived for the days, i couldn't face 7 months dead on. 

day one down. day two down. day three. 

i've got this. feeling good. i can do this.

i can't just get through this deployment, 

i can get through, and get through with a smile.

the days continued to drag on. day 99. day 100. triple digits. day 150...

keep it up. keep running. halfway done.

keep smiling. people think that its easy. you make it look easy.

long nights. long, lonely nights, empty bed.

forget the stress, the worry. life is too short for cruelty.

it's been so hard.

moving away from my family, away from my friends, school, job, everything familiar.

moving to a new place. new faces, new environment.

no job, no school...

i was just here with jon.

i moved out here for JON. and for HIS job. 

and i really had nothing.

i don't think people understand what it is like.

they just see military wives living through their husbands.

but that's the only thing they can do for awhile. 

thats the only thing they have. they left everything else back home.

left it all, just to be with the one they love.

you will never understand it, unless you live it.

unless you move from your comfort zone to a different state,

JUST for your husbands military job.

i'm actually quite lucky that jon left so fast after our wedding.

because then i was left here. i didn't have him to live for.

i didn't have him to hang out with, to cook for, 

i didn't get to wait for him to get off work.

i got to live for ME. find friends for me.

find hobbies, expand talents, keep myself busy.

i learned how to crochet.

i learned how to go to a family ward all by myself and sit all alone.

i learned how to cook for one. and eat at the table alone, in silence.

in my dinner prayer every night, i'd pray for jon.

it was 6am his time. 

i'd pray that he was warm and safe.

church and dinnertime was the loneliest. but i learned how to do it.

it was kind of nice not having someone else to clean up after.

it was nice getting to stretch out in bed.

nice to always do what i wanted to do, when i wanted to.

it wasn't so nice not having anyone clean up after me. 

wasn't nice going to bed alone and waking up alone.

the cat only understands so much. 

it did get annoying when i could tell she wasn't REALLY listening to my stories.

it was hard.

sending my husband to a war zone was officially the hardest and scariest thing i've done.

worth it?

oh yeah.

i have made amazing friends.

i've learned so much. 

and from thousands of miles away, our love has grown.

would i wait for him again through another deployment? 

i'd wait for him through another 10 deployments.

i just love him that much.

wk 41.

last weekend, i drove to utah with the young women from my ward. 

we left on friday. 

i accidently woke up later than i would have liked.... and made us all get a late start on our trip.

it was awful. 

but i got home JUST in time to see this little one on his FIFTH birthday!!!! i can't believe he has been alive that long and it was 5 years ago that we waited all night in the hospital for his arrival. he was such a tiny little baby. 

this is the oldest picture i have of him on this computer. 

look at that face and those ears. 

he is three months old here. i don't think i've seen a cuter baby.

the other one is my cousin, he was pretty darn cute, too.

i used to babysit him while katie worked a couple days a week. it was so fun to be able to spend so much quality time together. 

i'm not sure how he got that yellow thing in his mouth or what it is...

this is him as a five year old. dressing himself and putting shirts on backwards. he wouldn't let me fix it. still as cute as can be.

i got to play with this sweetie, too, who is also really really cute. 

my dad was loving this picture because our hair is the same color. 

i think i'm loving it for that reason too.

 i was also really happy to see my cat! he/she doesn't look happy here, but trust me, he/she was VERY happy to see me. :)

 and check this out. this happened while i was home. 

you should see it now.

jill came and slept over!!!!! she usually comes to at least stay a night when i'm in town, and i love her for it. we always have such a blast when we are together. she is the funniest woman and just all around really great. i'm glad i got to learn with her this weekend...

 we left early monday morning. unfortunately, it took us 10x (exaggeration) longer to get home then it should have. it was fun though and this sea horse cheeto cheered me up a lot.

we got home safe and sound on monday night and i was at school bright and early tuesday! it's definitely been a long and grueling week trying to focus on school but daydreaming instead.

i'll be really tickled when this deployment is over.