don't read if you have a weak stomach.

or as weak as mine. because mine already hurts and i havent even started writing.

so what is one thing i hate more then hearing people describe in explicit detail the dream that they had the night before?

describing my own dreams to people in explicit detail.

"So I had this dream last night..."
"...oh yeah..."
"No I know what you're thinking....but this one was really funny! So we were at your house, and we were cuddling! It was so weird....we were watching Mean Girls of course, and suddenly I look down, and you are not you. You are your mom!"
"...um where is this...going.."
"Well yeah....I guess it wasnt...that funny..."

anyway here i go.

describing the dream that i had last night. or was it a nightmare? i hated it. when i woke up i was very upset. am i kidding? no.

so my dream started out with me sitting at a table. looking down at poor oscar, sitting on my plate.
alive.
looking at me.

kind of like that, but looking at me. and his legs were sticking out.

and with a fork and knife...
i was cutting pieces of his leg off.
and i was eating it.
and he was still ALIVE!
it tasted like chicken for the first few bites. but then when i realized what was happening, the meat in my mouth started to feel gooey and tasted like raw meat.
i am a vegetarian.

that is when i lept from my seat at the table and ran to my dad. well, oscar had the same idea, and he was running SO FAST!!! he was running sooo fast and running up my back with his little claws and little legs and shell and beady eyes. so i was running all around! screaming for my dad to help me! and to make him stop! and i was running around my aunt camille's house, jumping on the couches. well, it knew how to jump! and jumped onto the couch and onto my shoulder! I was a panicked mess and my dad was laughing like he does! laughing so hard and saying "look how fast he can run!!"

thats when i woke up. sick and upset and mad and confused and i seriously shudder whenever i think about it. this post was actually difficult to write, it makes me cringe. i hate touching that turtle! i actually never have....

example A.

example B.

example C.

well this morning when i went to say my usual morning goodbyes to oscar, i couldnt do it.
i could absolutely not make eye contact with him.

i miss you oscar.

my good friend oscar left on a mission a couple weeks ago. he was one of my best friends in new york city, and is an amazing rap artist/singer/song writer. he wrote this for me.

this is not a love song
but a friend song
to a beauty in my eye
yeah her soul give me life
every time's a delight
when i spend time with her
she rises up my temperature
cute and she knows it
but i wont let her go with the impression that i love her
as a lover
but i love her as a friend
but lets not pretend
any guy in my shoes would make all types of moves
but i just play it cool cuz i dont wanna lose
what we have right here is way more valuable
there's not many things betta than having a laugh with you
you're like the sister i never had
we've walked similar paths
we both lost our moms
and we grew up with just dads
and we came out pretty good
we both look pretty good
we both act pretty hood
at times misunderstood
i'm not too worried about it
you're such a sass
you're so sweet but fiesty
you're so street but classy
you are a guys dream
i'm so lucky to know ya
i may need some visine
as my eyes fill with water
as we go our separate ways
i hope you never forget me
and know that i think the world of you.

i recorded two videos of him singing the same rap. they are both the same video but in the first one he starts laughing at the end. i couldn't just watch the second one though because he's way too serious.



p.s. we tried to get him to do one that wasn't religious but he refused. he was set apart as a missionary when we taped these so he said he felt weird doing any others, haha.

his friends tried to get me to hug him, but oscar wouldnt have it.

when a turtle becomes a son.

normal day.
i walk in the house and much to my surprise, i see a package on the counter from a certain someone! i totally did not expect it, and was so happy. it was about an 8 inch by 8 inch box. sent straight from the ghettos of Louisiana. so i quickly open the package, maybe toss it around a bit trying to find the top and struggling with the tape. i see something covered in towels and am immediately weary. chase has a sick sense of humor and has been known to send me such things as, his companions entire ripped off toe nail, a real alligators head, etc...
so i felt through the towels and could feel a hard shell and knew it was a turtle. i assumed it was dead and when i thought about what it'd be, i wanted to barf. i cant even imagine what a turtle shell with no turtle in it would look like, and i really don't want to.
i looked through the rest of the box, found a cute beanie, some beads sent from New Orleans (missionaries love Mardi gras), a tape, a few pictures and a note.
something along the lines of "hey... i hope he isn't dead. if you don't want him, you can give him to my sister... :S" anyone who knows chase knows that he didn't really say it that clearly, but that's what he meant.
i, obviously, was turned off and just stared at the bundle of towels sitting on the counter. i slowly started to unfold the towels. finally i was on the last towel and hurried and pulled it away. i sat there face to face with the most worried looking turtle ever. and we stared at each other for probably five minutes.

i grabbed my phone and sent out a mass text telling my family that chase had sent me a live turtle in the mail. i looked on the box and it said 8-3-08. today's date was 8-5-08, so he'd been without water for at least two days.

when we were on good terms.

my dad told me there was a fish tank down stairs so i fetched it and brought it upstairs. of course i wasn't going to touch the turtle, so i got a paper towel and started to reach for it. he tried to run but couldn't get a grip on our slippery counter, but it still scared me and i jumped back. i tried talking to him and telling him it was okay, i was just going to pick him up, and reached for him again. a mix of being tossed around in a tiny box for two days, hurt ears from the airplane, and fear of a large white object coming towards him made him contemplate life and he started running so fast that he got a grip of the counter and leapt from my grasp and the counter and landed with a thud on the hard wood floor on his shell. all of this happening to the soundtrack of my screams. i sat there screaming for probably ten seconds as he laid there quiet, not moving. my heart was pounding so fast and i was at such confusion and regret that i grabbed my phone and immediately called my grandma. i said "gran. chase sent me a turtle in the mail, and it just leapt from the counter and isn't moving. will you please come pick it up? i can't touch it." and she said "yes, bye" and was there in no longer then five minutes.

when she walked in, i was standing there staring at my lifeless, unmoving turtle. she walked towards him and flipped him off of his back with her foot and he stuck his legs out. he lives!!! and she hurried and grabbed him with the paper towel and dropped him (yes, dropped him) into the fish tank that was currently empty. he ran around and kept bumping into all the see through walls, bless his heart. so i text chacha and asked him what turtles eat, they responded "greens. fruits and vegetables, but you should probably get him real turtle food." i searched all over the house and only found parsley, and hot peppers....so i gave him some parsley and a bowl of water. right when i put the bowl of water in, he submerged himself in it, which i thought was odd.
i let him hang out in his cage until my dad got home and said i needed to put leaves and grass in there for him and needed to go talk to petsmart about how to care for him. i was leaving for the night, so i just hurried and got some grass and a few leaves to put in there, then i went out. i came home around 1 and checked on "Oscar". my dad had gotten WAY more leaves and grass than i had, and Oscar the turtle had burrowed into them so that i couldn't see him. I'd find out why, later.
the next day i had work until 2, then i went straight to petsmart. i told them i received a foreigner in the mail and had no idea what to do. they asked if i had a picture of him, and of course i did.
250 dollars later, and with new knowledge that Oscar was a water turtle, i sped home hoping that i wouldn't have to uncover his corpse. much to my surprise, he was still hanging onto life. i hurried and put my new tank together and my dad helped me fill it with water. he pulled Oscar from his tiny waterless fish tank and dropped him into a huge tank filled with luscious water and Oscar just sat there soaking it all up, so pleased.
a few days later, after Oscar and i became acquainted and got on good terms, i sent his father a tape. told him he owed me child support, but that our baby was happy. i even saw him eating yesterday for the first time. i don't know what I'd do if i would have lost him when he was at his lowest point in life. literally and figuratively.

in honor of. :)

more missionaries.

i recorded a video of elder miles talking. he has a new companion that i'm not very good friends with. elder miles is seriously my bff. i recorded him talking to chase. jason is mad in the video because like five minutes before, i told him i had a boyfriend on a mission. elder miles has a girlfriend who is waiting for him and he's going home in 4 1/2 months.



this is me in my new apartment. i took this picture to print out and send jake....i never printed it or sent it. i think its funny because our ceilings are actually like 10 feet high but it looks like i'm a giant in a tiny apartment with tiny furniture, but that simply is not true.

this was the first really warm, really nice day i've spent in NYC and i spent it running errands all day for work. and i loved it.
and i've learned to stop asking why.

i also got a video of oscar and i chillin at the hudson river. i guess he did warn me about the dead bodies, but i just brushed it off.

dead bodies. yum.

my mass text "I just put my foot into the hudson river!!"

Dad-"Did it fall off? lol."
me-"yes lol. it is all shriveled up."
dad-"I hear those things happen."

Katie-"eeewww do you know how many dead bodies are in there?"
me-"yes, one bobbed up and hit my toe"
Katie-"haha! thats how law and order always starts...an innocent person stumbling across a dead body." (that got a pretty good laugh....when the laughter silenced a very sick feeling came across us. it was only me and oscar and we were therefore really creeped out the rest of the time.)

Stephanie-"wow. lol. how was it? dirty? lol."

Lizzie-"wow. Congratulations."
thanks girl. guess you haven't heard all the rumors about that river.

by the way, the whole time i ducked under the fence, took off my shoe, put my foot in, oscar was holding onto my arm SO tightly saying "you are crazy. you're crazy."

crazy day.

here are some pictures from the parade. it was more crowded than any concert has ever been, i was literally squished-i couldn't breathe.
all the building above us were throwing out shredded paper, toilet and new papers. it was so wack.

the giants biggest fan.

i'm on my way downtown to go to the new york giants celebration parade. watch the news, i'll be one of those millions of peeps. the giants are really really going to be in it.

i should be packing.

so my dear dear friend, nik rivers, is on an LDS mission in NEW YORK. ever since i've been here, i've been thinking about how i should find his place and leave him a lil somethin somethin on his porch.
i shared this idea with oscar, the native. he said that we had to be friends for three years before he would go to scarsdale with me. scarsdale is 20 miles from where i live. i didn't think that this was far.
well, i text him last night and said "are you sure you don't want to go with me?" probably threw a wink in there or something, because he said he decided he would go with me. he was already up in the bronx visiting his dad so we met at a subway stop up there. we took the subway to the very end of the track, and we were still 6 miles from nik rivers' apartment.
so we left the subway station and walked down onto the street. since oscar knows wassup, he did this little hand wave thing that didn't even involve his arm and a guy came up and said "taxi taxi" so we walked into his car. he opened the door for me to get in the front and oscar was like...."i'll sit in the back with her" so we both got in the back, but had to use one door because there was stuff of the seat on one side.... we get in and he has theee thickest accent ever. we could not understand a thing he said except "mon", so for sure he was from jamaica. oscar kept whispering things to me saying "i feel so bad" and "i can't see a taxi drivers lisence anywhere" he said he had a really bad feeling about being in there!! so the driver was drunk and weaving all over and slamming on his breaks and all this...finally he let us off at 700 white plains road. niks address. and its a shopping center. so i give him 20 bucks and he leaves. we are left in a suburban area, with neighborhoods and shopping and no taxi's anywhere. we went to the address and it turns out that it is a doctors office. some sketchy lady that was in the building said that address was there and everything, but she didn't know an elder rivers and all the people in that building were doctors and lawyers.... so we just walk away.
oscar tried to talk to people who were in their cars, they'd make eye contact with him but they would NOT roll down the window, it was unreal. we finally run into two girls on the street and ask them how long it would take to walk to the metro north ("metro norf", oscar says) and she said it would take twenty minutes....then her friend piped up and said no it'll take fourty. so we were not havin it. we found a bus station nearby and stood by it. it was literally 20 degrees and it started raining. luckily, i had an umbrella. we looked at the time and it said the bus would pick us up at 944. it was 915. so we waited until 946 SO COLD and oscar was not happy. we look at the schedule again and turns out we had been looking at the a.m. time and not the p.m. so the next bus would be at 956. yikes, so we waited ten minutes more and finally the bus came around 10. we got on and it was FULL. FULL of black people. there were hardly any people driving on the roads and NO ONE had passed us on the street since we'd been standing there and every store was closed so we could not figure out where all these people had been. we get on and tell the driver where we need to go. he says 'okay' and we stand, since all the seats are full. everyone is talking to each other and laughing and having the best time-it was a party bus. so we literally drive less than 5 minutes and the driver pulls over and tells us to get out and walk three blocks and there is the train station. (40 minutes walk my eye!!!!) so we start walking the three blocks....which was actually like 6 blocks and horrray, there is the train station!
we meander our way up and ask a bro where to buy tickets. he told us "you better hurry i can see the train coming!!! if you don't get on this train the next one will be in an hour!!!!" all three of us run to the ticket thing so nervous because the train has now stopped at the station. i hurry and buy two tickets with my credit card and our new friend started running to the train saying "i'll try to make them wait for you!!" we have to wait for 10 precious seconds for our tickets to print and they finally do and we book it down two flights of stairs to the train. when we got there the doors (which was really really weird but we were too hurried to laugh about it) were closing ON A GUY working for the train. they were closing ON HIM on his stomach and back and he just took it. when they opened we jumped on and the doors closed right behind us and the train left!!! we barely made it in time!
on the fourty minute train ride home we listned to "last night" by diddy and keyshia cole. its a very catchy song. so when we got off the train and were walking home we kept singing "last night....i got lost in scarsdale...scarsdale...scarsdale.....last night....i met so many sketchy people...people...people " it was so funny.
oscar was not having it because it was 11 oclock and he had been hungry since we left at 8 and he was an ice cube. i told him he'd like the story when he woke up today. i can't believe how many sketchy people we met! i think we learned that we probably shouldn't have gone to NR's house, so God made everyone we came in contact with sketchy so they'd lie to us about where to go and everything. oh and on top of that, while we were waiting for the bus-we saw a HUUUGEE raccoon and it just sat there and stared at us. it was unreal.



p.s. of course i've been in the laundromat this whole time writing it and of course i've been getting the worst looks from all the people in here. i am a minority.

SHUTCHYO MOUTH.

today was so good to me!
of course i was ten minutes late to my 9 oclock class with only 8 people in it.
i walked in and had to squeeze past people with my huge bags and the teacher handed me the roll because i was the only one not signed in. so i write my name on it and hand it back to him. he looks and it and starts to lecture us on following instructions. apparently at the top it said write your name, last name first. and i had written alexandra robinson.
and he looked and me and i was just like "oh...sorry."
AWKWARD!
but then we learned how to write the alphabet! i should put a picture of it up. its a really fun class, drafting.
after class me and my friend dana went to her apartment. i didn't do an assignment we thought was due today and she had an extra so we went to print one out for both of us. her apartment was tiny and ghetto. and she lives alone. it was cute, but seriously so small.
then we went to historical styles and i took three pages of notes in an hour and half, that class is IN. TENSE.
you really have to pay attention, she goes so fast-but enough of that boring stuff.

we have these cats. that reside outside our windows at night. and really, they sound like they're in a WHOLE lot of pain. i can't hear them tonight. but we've heard them the last 4 or 5 days and i die everytime i hear them. last night i text casey (our wall is a curtain.) and was like those cats. right when i got a text from her saying "those cats are dying again!!!" and then i heard her recieve a text then laugh and i really died laughing and it was 2 am. we couldn't sleep, i don't know why the sound of cats moaning didn't get us to sleep.

me, oscar (www.youtube.com search =" oscar on eternal families "), casey, and a man (who wants a piece) named Rob went to I HOP. it was the unlimited pancake special. the good quote of the day came from this.
oscar is from new york and has lived here his whole life so has a really thick thug accent. he was very messily eating his 'all you can eat pancakes' and i remarked
"you are the messiest eater in the world!!" as he was dripping syrup all over. he immediately lashed out, pointed at me and said
"SHUTCHYO MOUTH LOOK ATCHYO SLEEVE!" and we all looked and i had the biggest piece of hash brown stuck on my sleeve.

we all got a pretty good laugh.

then those boys walked us home and i was laughing so hard i snorted (i think for the first time ever) and i had tears streaming from my face. everyone keeps asking me and casey, and me and morgan how long we've known each other because we get along so well. i told them tonight that casey was sent straight from jesus into my apartment.


i hate my apartment but love my room, too bad i have to leave it. but i will be so pleased and so suprised to have so much leg room in my new bedroom that i don't have to share!
p.s. i got rob to help me move. uh.


p.p.s. couch boy moved out! he didn't say anything about his missing alcoholic beverage and we can freely and happily roam around our apartment in leggings and a tank top and not be uncomfortable.