big girls don't cry. (religious post)

and neither do i.
usually...

before three days ago, i couldn't remember the last time i cried.
usually it is if my sisters are being mean to me (AMANDA) or my dad is making me feel bad about certain billz or getting in a certain wreck that cost me/us $600 or something dad-like along those lines, or its when I'm alone and I'm driving and I'm listening to a song that gets me every time.
it reminds me of that boy.

or those boys.

the boys i really did like but didn't know i liked at the time and now they've moved on to bigger (not literally) and better (not physically) women.
the boys that all started and ended the same.
said that same things.
from Sarah B's "Love Song"
"I learned the hard way, that they all say things you want to hear."
which actually ends up being all of the same things.
boys are soo typical but that's not the point.

the point is.

that i cry now.

hi maybe my hormones are off balance or i haven't been getting enough chocolate or maybe I've been getting too much thinking time.
but it might just be because I'm lonely

i mean really lonely.
and it may or may not be because everyone, or almost everyone, but i use 'everyone' for better dramatics, has become serious in a relationship.
but me.

father, best friend #1, best friend #2, exhsboyfriend #1, exwehookeduponcebutitwasoneofthebesthookupseverbf#2, exmajorhistorybfthatimthesaddestabout #3, exyouwishwewerebfgfbutididnt #4, and iwishweeveractuallybecamebfgf #5. (the term bf is used very loosely and applies when he's a man that i hung out with for weeks on end, hooked up with maybe only just once, or really actually dated or really actually became bfgf with.)

so here i am bestfriendless boyfriendless fatherless and therefore distraught and lonely.

in church today, we talked about Christ.
the relief society told us the new theme for our RS.

"His love is ENOUGH"

and i wanted to cry.

Doctrine and Covenants 84:88
And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.

so encouraging.