one month.

I'm so blessed, I'm so blessed, I'm so blessed.

My heart is overwhelmed.

This will be the longest post of my life.

You don't have to read it.

I'm writing it for me and I have to write it and I have to write it tonight.

I don't want to forget a thing.

I left san Diego this morning.

Jon and I woke up late. I straightened my hair when i shouldn't have.

I ate breakfast even though I thought shouldn't have.

Jon got us lost on the way there.

I missed my flight.

I cried.

I burried my face in Jon's chest and cried because it meant I was missing my only nieces' first birthday party.

I knew I'd miss the party so I decided to try staying positive.

I planned on sleeping over at Katie's to spend time with them and watch my niece and nephew open their presents from me.

Jon was a big wuss saying goodbye and I wasn't sympathetic.

I thought it was because we aren't THAT couple that is sad to spend a day apart when we've already spent a year apart.

Maybe I wasn't sympthetic because I knew I'd be coming home that night.

I got on the plane.

The sweetest, oldest lady was placed next to be.

MAYBE 75 pounds, beautiful and, later I found out, 81 and Mexican.

A twenty something year old newlywed from Colorado was seated on the other side of me.

Me and the old lady started to talk. She force fed me nuts from a giant jar from costco.

She loves peanuts so her daughter bought it for her.

She thought the daughter bought it for the whole family and was surprised when the daughter made her take them. They're was way too many for just her, so she made sure me and the other girl ate up.

Her husband died 16 years ago from cancer.

He was 54 when he married her, she was 17. He always called her his spring chicken. She met his mother 6 years after they'd married and the mother said to her "if he doesn't treat you well, let me know. It doesn't matter how old I am. If he treats you bad, I'll beat the shit out of him."

She never had to because he was a good man. He worked hard for his children and treated them all the same. If he bought one a car or house for their wedding, he bought the others a car or house when they got married too. He helped her run a Mexican restaurant in Denver, Colorado.

In 1993 he got sick.

They closed the restaurant down because he meant more to her than her business.

She cared for him for his last three months on earth.

She still misses him every day. She had 13 children of his. 4 have died already. All died of cancer. She decides who she likes and doesnt like at first glance She's still active and happy. Goes Mexican dancing every Sunday, vacuums every morning and showers first thing so that no one ever sees her looking messy.

On her birthday, the people at the dance club had a dance for her.

They had to pay to dance with the birthday girl.

She made $260 that night.

She spent two weeks in San Diego and loved it. Her granddaughter took a picture of her pretending to hitch-hike, one with a sailor, and one with a Marine holding a rifle. The sailor put his arm around her.

The stewardess came up to take my drink order and my friend tried to tell her what she wanted but she walked away without hearing. My friend turned to me and said

"It's because I'm Mexican. No one likes mexicans. There's always a bad apple somewhere. There was a bad apple somewhere and ruined it for all the rest of us. Now no one likes us." and laughed.

She also told me about her parents.

Her dad was Mexican. He was a legal immigrant. Every Janurary he would go and renew his citizenship for the United States. One year he didn't do it because he FELT like he was legal. His wife told him to, but he wouldn't. She kept telling him that someone was going to come and take him back to Mexico and he did not want to go back. One day, an innocent man came to the door to talk to him. His wife fetched the dad and told him that immigration was at the door and they were taking him away.

He had a heart attack.

Seven hours later, he died in the hospital.

His wife lived twenty years after him. Never told the hospital the reason for the heart attack and felt guilty til the day she died. She also never joked with anyone again.

Halfway though the conversation, my friend rummaged through her purse.

She handed me and girl next to me a peppermint.

Then she put her purse down and held my hand.

In her hand was a piece of paper.

I knew exactly what it was.

"I can't take this."

"Hold my hand."

"Thank you, but I really can't."

"I told you to hold my hand. Now hold my hand."

I put my other hand over hers and held it for a few minutes. After a little bit, she pulled her hand away and left the piece of paper.

I looked at her and sincerely said-"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Sh. " with a wink and changed the subject.

I started to talk with the girl on the other side of me. She met her husband at a Catholic single adult activity and married him in the church they met at. She's from Windsor, Colorado but moved to San Diego to get out of the small town. Her brother is in the Air Force. Her dad was in the Navy. He deployed soon after he married her mom. The first time he called her mom after he'd left, her mom couldn't speak because she was crying so hard.

As we were landing, I found out that it was old lady's SECOND plane ride EVER.

We were bumping through extreme turbulance.

I had a hand over my mouth and my heart rate was sky rocketing.

She was sitting calm and still.

We landed. She squeezed my hand, kissed my cheek and said "I love you."

I walked with the other girl down the hall. She picked up a free Rockies magazine to give to her dad.

"It's just somethig silly I do every time I come home, bring my dad a Rockies magazine..."

We came to a fork in the road. I told her I had a long lay over.

"Go to the USO."

"USO?"

"Yeah for military personal. You have your military dependent ID right? Just go. There are nice chairs and free food. We went with my brother."

I thanked her and we went our separate ways.

I walked to the USO. Text Jon's mother, Kim, to see if I could get in even without Jon and told her I was scared to.

"Yes. And do what scares you. :)"

I went in. Showed them my ID and signed in.

"There are cubbies to the right for you to put the bags you don't want to carry around in. Behind me are magazines and books. Read them, take them home with you. We have plenty. If you want to use the computer or rent a video game, talk to me. If you want a drink or food, tell the people behind the bar. Everything is complimentary. Make yourself at home."

I walked in, put my bag in a cubby, got a drink and sat in one of the recliners. I started to look around and the more I saw, the more my eyes welled with tears.

There were hand drawings from little kids stuck up around the room.

"thank you" "be safe" and "you're our heros."

Men and women in uniform asleep on the sofas.

It made me so proud. So proud of my man for willingly giving up normal life.

He says after serving the lord for two years, it was time to serve his country.

It made me so sad to see these young boys in uniform away from home, away from their families in a foreign airport with people they've never met.

But there they were. Being fed and cared for by other American men and women grateful for what they're doing for us.

It's a big circle.

It made me so happy to see. I love talking to young men who are HAPPY to be doing what they're doing. The ones who didn't join so that their school would be paid for and the ones that don't talk bad about the president and the war, even if they don't agree with it.

I left there happy. Happy to send Jon to Afghanistan. Happy I have a husband as brave and proud as he is. Happy that I joined a family bigger than I could have imagined by marrying a Marine. And so grateful that God gave me such beautiful insight.

I got to my gate to find that the flght was delayed from 5:55 to 7. Seven o'clock came and went. Eight o'clock..someone came down and said Salt Lake City flights were cancelled and to go to the ticket counter to figure it out.

Me and a few other SLC-bound people ran to the ticket counter. The next flight out was Sunday. If you didn't make that flight, the next was Wednesday.

I missed my nieces' party. I missed my family reunion. I missed my sleepover with Robbie. His sweet voice...he was so excited to sleep at Papa's with me tonight. And I didn't get to see my grandma.

I decided to just turn around and go back to San Diego. I got my ticket and ran to the gate. The 9:00 flight was delayed.

I called Robbie and cried.

"Grandma told me you couldn't come. She said the plane couldn't fly through the storm."

"No it can't...so I can't have a sleep over tonight. I'm sorry I can't see you tonight."

"Yeah..."

"I'll try to come home soon and see you."

"Yeah and you can come when there isn't a storm! So you can stop being sad and we will all be happy like 'yayyyyyyyyy!!!!'"

I told him I would send him his gift and he was so happy. He is the nicest boy in the world and I can't figure out how a four year old knows how to comfort a crying adult.

Then I called my grandma. I call her 3 or 4 times a week at night when I'm away. Every time I talk to her I hang up and cry because I miss her so much.

I called her and told her my flight was cancelled and I was so sad because I wanted to see her.

She said don't worry, dont feel bad about this. There is a reason for it. You may have avoided something bad, you will find out the reason.

Lizzie called me to comfort me. She said I know you're homesick. Maybe just a few hours away will help you realize how home Jon and San Diego are.

So I'm going home.

Lastly, I called my boy. I told him I was now waiting for a flight back to see him. He was sad that I missed seeing my family and missed the reunion. He said he was happy he didn't have to sleep alone. We hung up and my flight was delayed two more hours.

I was starving. And poor. I remembered the five dollar bill.

I went to mcdonalds and ordered a kids meal. It was $5.08.

I had two hours to reflect on this.

After crying a good amount today, I feel really good. I feel like my guardian angel has been sitting on my shoulder all day.

I was late for my first flight because I was doing my hair. The girl next to me told me my hair was cute and that's the sentence that broke the ice. I told her I was married to a marine and she told me about her dad and brother. She later told me about the USO. I went and became overwhelmed with a spirit of American pride. I talked to Alice, my 81 year old friend. She gave me a five dollar bill. Later, starving, I bought myself mcdonalds at 10pm. At which time I thought I'd already be at home curled up next to little robbie sound asleep. I saw those lonely servicemen in that room and missed my man. I sat down for two hours with nothing to do but think, and I thought. And I thought about how blessed I am and saw that throughout this entire day, God was putting people in certain places and making sure people brought up certain topics. I didn't go home to Murray. I didn't see all my family. I am grateful for them and I am grateful to have made a home in California that I feel like I can go to and be truly happy with someone that means so much to me.

So back to San Diego I go.

A little bit sad, but a little bit happy.

Because well, why would we want to sleep apart on our one month anniversary?