Wednesday, May 14, 2008

days of hilariosity.

so after a lot of chaos with me and jessie packing, making movies, and delivering a bike to washington heights while trying to be on time for the bus, i finally made it. the bus dropped me off at the east hampton stop at a little Inn. i was a panicked mess and was trying to do anything to calm my nerves (cigarettes, anxiety pills, a couple shots...), but when my boss picked me up, she was really nice and appreciative. probably because she knows that i could and would leave if i didn't like it here. on the way home she showed me "town", which is two perpendicular streets. thats all. and she told me about the history and what not...then she started telling me about how i needed to be able to take control of everyone at the house. she said "YOU have to be the boss. they can't know you're only 12."


we went to sleep early and woke up at 8:30. then we worked and worked and worked until 1 oclock when we all went to brunch for mother's day. well she asked her daughter to change because she was wearing boots and jeans, but her daughter flipped out saying that she could wear whatever she wants and that her mom only wanted her to change because she cares so much about what other people think. so the explosion started there and continued on through out dinner. my boss kept looking at me like i was going to tell robin to stop or something, but i just stayed quiet. robin wouldnt sit by her mom because she had "cooties" and kept saying mean things to her and having a lip. her mom said she'd give her consequences if she kept it up, but i saw no consequences. finally, the dad snapped and yelled at them saying they were embarrassing him and themselves and making me uncomfortable. then he turned to me and was like "well, happy mother's day alexandra."
we went shopping after lunch and when i was alone with liz, my boss, she said something about how i should sometimes tell robin she's being mean. i just nodded and didn't say i was going to because its not my job to raise her daughter. after we got ice cream we went back to the house and worked some more until 7 oclock when doug (her husband) brought pizza and dinner for us. we stopped and ate and robin begged me to play football with her so i played that for awhile. then we went downstairs and watched the series "the tudors" with robin while working. robin is only 12 and that show is SO bad. i was even shocked, and wouldnt watch. finally we finished working at 11 o clock when her car came to take them back to the city. doug is so sweet to me and made sure i would be okay and said "okay, goodbye darlin'." such a cutie grandpa.

the night was pretty scary because the doors kept blowing open, but i slept surprisingly well. the bed i was sleeping on was RIGHT next to the glass door to the outside and at 7 am someone came and tried to open it. i was supposed to be up at ready at 7 but totally wasn't so i jumped out of bed and opened the door for him. i scared him so bad because he didn't know i was in there and just wanted to use the outlet.
the day was so wack and i finally got a hang of things in the afternoon. being surrounded by 30 men is NOT bad to me. i am the only woman amongst so many men of different colors, shapes, ages, and sizes and i love it and they love me.

so apparently deer have been eating the plants out here and my boss FLIPPED out and started yelling at everyone saying that they ate 20,000 dollars worth of plants (completely false) and was looking any and everywhere for someone to blame. so she lashed out at the guy who sprayed the deer repellent(rotten eggs and hot sauce. awesome.) and made him come and try to figure out where the deer were getting in. so i was with him trying to figure it out and he goes into all the brush and is walking along the fence line, well, i take that back. he was pretty much crawl-running through all the thick shrubs and i was trying to follow him until i stopped him and was like "really?" and he got the point and said that deer like where it is very dense because then nothing can chase them. he acted like it was normal for him to be doing this, but then told me i could wait on the lawn. i did. after awhile, he finally figured out where the deer might be getting in. he was explaining it to me and showed me where the brush was "hallowed out" into a dome shape "about your height". no it wasn't my height it was actually to his waste but thats fine.
by the time 7 finally rolled around, everyone was getting ready to go. i held the front door open and let 20 men out and they were all saying "goodbye miss", "goodnight", "see you tomorrow alexandra", so cute. then there were only three left. one boy, jonathan, who is 20 and has a huge crush on me, the old black grandpa who is in charge of everyone, so cute and SO bossy, and his son. the old man (charles, fitting.) gave me his number and asked if i was really going to be alright out here and said to call him if i need anything, don't be shy. then jonathan made sure to tell me that "yeah, its really scary out here at night." thank you.

so i was left alone with no working internet or tv, and no food. luckily, i called a sweety and he ordered groceries for me online to be delivered today. i love men. jesus woke me up at 7 this morning because i slept through my alarm. today it went smoother than yesterday because everyone knows who i am now, and i know my way around. around 9, the "coffee truck" comes and EVERYONE clears out of the house, it gets so quiet and its like a ghost town. at least three of the workers come find me and say "miss alexandra, coffee! :) " so i went out with them today and was so happy. they really let loose when they are out there and they laugh and joke around, so cute. one of the men from columbia picked up this orange juice drink and said its really good. its all natural. so i bought it of course. i was carrying it back to the house when someone from the scaffolding yelled out to me.
"that stuff is not all natural!! he lied!!"
"really??..."
"I'M ALL NATURAL!!"

nice pick up line.

i asked one of the electricians, both named joe, to help me fix the internet. he looked on my boss' computer and hannah montana was up and he made fun of me. he was like "what are you, 13??" and i was like noo that's robin's. and he was like
"so really what are you, 19?"
"....no i'm 20."
"ohhh i was right yesterday!"
"you guys talked about me yesterday."
"of course we talked about you. we're all guys. but don't worry, it was all good stuff."

the best thing that has happened so far though, is when i went upstairs. they had the radio BLARING. and it happened to be. Shania Twain-"I feel like a woman."
i went up there and laughed SO hard and me and three other men started dancing. so funny!
though i do not like my boss, i love life from 7 am to 7 pm while they are all here.

6 comments:

Dan said...

You could be a non-virgin by the time you leave.

Katie said...

Shania Twain? Really? How funny!! Sounds like life is pretty interesting.

Amanda said...

I can't believe I read that whole thing. But I kind of can. They can't know you're only 12! At least she has a sense of humor...?! Does her daughter look at all like Ali Lohan? That's who I picture when you talk about her. It was nice of Jesus to wake you up. Did he shake you gently like Gran does? When I met the Joes! I was like Joe... Joe. And we waved goodbye to each other! So funny and awkward. I love technology. And the guy that didn't know a bit of english. I want to meet Charles.

Amanda said...

and it's funny that dan think you're a virgin

Amanda said...

I just read what he wrote in his about me!!!!! that is too funny.

Unknown said...

"that stuff is not all natural!! he lied!!"
"really??..."
"I'M ALL NATURAL!!"

nice pick up line.


i love your life. you are so funny, it sounds like you are having a blast!! <3 yooou!