I'M 25.

we started the birthday celebrations by having brandon and hannah in town! the four of us went and stayed in a somewhat sketchy hotel near sea world. it wasn't so bad and it was fun reminiscing about the first time we met 3.5 years ago and stayed in a somewhat sketchy hotel on camp lejeune! 

we ate breakfast at the mission which is one of jon's favorites.

after breakfast we went to balboa park. we made the rash decision to rent one of these bicycles!!! it was the best decision ever!! we sped around balboa park for almost an hour laughing hysterically. jon was so unsure the first few minutes and we were all over the place. he quickly got comfortable and we saw all of balboa, even the restricted areas. our ride included:
going over a very narrow and pedestrian only bridge
swiping the side of the bike on a pole on a sidewalk (luckily brandon and i pulled our legs in so that we can laugh about the memory and not cry). jon was NOT slowing down. we were very clearly too large to fit in between the two poles, but he was stopping for nothing.
and barely making it up a steep hill. we actually pedaled ourselves halfway up the hill before we came to a dead stop in front of more than four onlookers. we had to back up and get a good head start and we did make it up all the way though we were going verrry slow toward the top of the hill.
it was so much fun and i'm really glad we did that! it was definitely the best part of the day. we visited a couple museums afterwards then headed back to the isaac's for some games.

we have been living with the isaac's who are a family from our ward. it is weird to refer to them as 'the family we are living with' because that makes it sound impersonal. we love living with them so much and they seem like family.
anyway, brandon and hannah came over and we played a good game of monopoly with bella and sully (the two youngest issac's). lucy and brandon enjoyed each others company. we also played settlers of catan nights and cities. it was my first time with that expansion and i really liked it!
brandon and hannah are our game friends. they know a ton of fun games and are always looking for new ones. they are good sports and we always get such a laugh hanging out with them. (kim and mike are our movie friends. lindsay and wes are our SNL friends:))

sunday was my birthday!! we woke up bright and early to attend church from 9-12. after church jon and the isaac's gave me presents and sang happy birthday to me. they were all so nice on my birthday and let me make every decision! we played settlers of catan, had a yummy steak dinner, went on a wilderness walk, watched pitch perfect, ate cake and played the great dalmuti until we were all too sleepy to play any more. seriously, i think they all wanted to finish pitch perfect, but when i mentioned that i wanted to play a game, they turned the movie off and we played a game. annie (the mom) kept saying "it's your birthday! its up to you!" this family is so awesome, they do everything together! we can't figure out if it is always like this or if they all want to hang out with us just because we will be here for a short time. their house is set up perfectly so that the private areas are small and the common areas are big. even if people are in two different rooms, the rooms are all connected so they can talk to each other. i can't explain it, it is just not how i grew up!

jon made me the most delicious cake!!!! chocolate cake with made from scratch chocolate frosting. i was amazed at how good it tasted on day one, but it's only gotten better since. 

it was a fun birthday and i'm so glad we were at the isaac's to celebrate. they did a good job making me feel special and they all kept telling me happy birthday throughout the day. jon was really cute about my birthday as well and got me a really nice card which was my favorite part (along with the cake). i got to talk to my sisters and my dad on my birthday too, technology is so awesome. lizzie, amanda and i chatted on google plus and got such a kick out of the sound affects. if someone said something funny the others would either applaud or put on crickets. it doesn't sound as funny as it was, so you've justttt got to trust me. 

25 is going to be a good year, i can feel it. annie says that every year just gets better and better (until you're 70 at which point everything hurts or at least something hurts at all times) and i think i believe her. 

my first horse show!!

I have been taking horse lessons for almost exactly a year. My first lesson with Sara was in the first week of April 2012. After a year of hard work and preparation, I had my first show on Sunday! it was the thoroughbred classic horse show in san juan capistrano.

jon and i woke up at 3:36 am, hours before the sun rose! we drove 35 minutes to the farm I ride at in San Marcos and woke Gerry up. He was laying down and sleeping in his stall with his blanket on; it was so cute. he rolled over to gain momentum and got his feet underneath him to stand up. he is so interesting because he's been going to shows forever, he knows exactly what to do and what to expect. he knew why we were there and was ready to get started! we met sara and corina and packed up the trailer. we drove another hour to san juan capistrano as the sun was rising. we got to the mission viejo horse park at 6:30am. that gave us time to check in, look around the grounds, get gerry ready and warm up. corina came to help and i am so glad she did. she got gerry tacked up for me while i was checking in, it felt like i had an assistant. (she also let me wear her show coat which was really, really sweet) sara was awesome. she knew exactly what to do and what to have me do. there was never a moment where i was sitting on the sidelines for more than 5 minutes getting nervous about my next class and sara never showed any nerves or anxiety at all. before the classes started, i went to the warm up arena and trotted around and got on the same page as gerry. in between classes she prepped me and had gerry and i walk around so we didn't get anxious.

 here we are getting ready for the first class which was English Pleasure. sara shined my boots, fixed my hair and helmet and tied my number around my waist. 

 the english pleasure class included the walk, trot and canter. the only problem we had was picking up the right lead. i had to take him back down to the trot and pick up the correct lead. we still won third place out of ten!! when they called my number and Gerry's show name (Original Concept) I was so surprised! the second class was another English Pleasure class and we had no issues! we picked up the correct lead both times and we got 3rd place out of 11 people! those classes were really fun and totally boosted my confidence. gerry and i were a good pair and were totally comfortable out in the arena together.

the third class was Hunter Hack and included some flat work (walk, trot, and canter). i picked up the incorrect lead again, which set me back a lot. then all the people in the class took turns jumping two 2' verticals. the other girls picked up the canter and went over the two jumps right away. sara suggested that i trot a circle and then pick up the canter and go over the jumps. i did just that and it went really well! i got 4th place out of 7 and i was really happy about how the jumps went!

here is the video of my little course:

the fourth class was a cross rail course! there were six jumps at 1'6" including two lines (a jump one right after another). the first three jumps were a bit tentative, but on the second line (the 4th and 5th crossrails) i just got off gerry's back and let him go. those two jumps ended up being the best because gerry is awesome. right before my last cross rail gerry broke from the canter and started to trot. he picked up the left lead before the jump instead of after it like you are supposed to do. you can hear sara (swear...and then) explain what she thought happened in the video. i knew i wasn't supposed to pick up the left lead until after the jump, i just wasn't pushing gerry enough to keep him at the canter. whoops!
here is the video of us jumping our course!:

my next class was another 6 cross rail course. i must explain that i have a faulty memory. i know exactly when and why my memory started to fail me, but that is another story for another day. soon after high school my memory started getting bad. i now rely on jessica and lyndsi, jill and my sisters memories of funny stories and fun moments we have had together! during my lessons i sometimes forget what jumps i'm going over next and sara has to remind me or she is sometimes just like "??? what happened to my jump??" when we were doing the first cross rail course, at one moment i completely forgot what we were doing. we went over the 2nd and 3rd cross rails and then i drew a blank. when i looked back at the course it came to me and we finished great. so...sara prepped me for the next course (mind you, i only had like 4 minutes to memorize a new course and i hadn't seen anyone else do it yet). i felt good about the course until right before i went on. sara was telling me where i needed to pick up the canter and go over the first jump and i looked to the red jump as she was telling me this. i went into the arena, picked up the trot then canter and aimed at the red jump. i started hearing sara yell "go right, go right!" i was soo confused. i looked down to make sure we were on the correct lead and we were. i had no idea what exactly she was saying, so i tentatively went over the first jump. i heard her yell from the sidelines "you're off the course!' i brought gerry to the trot and heard over the loud speaker "unfortunately our rider 165 is off the course." I had gone over the wrong jump! the very first one!! the correct jump was actually to the left of me, so sara had gotten her right and left confused, haha. we were both confused! i was so bummed. it was my last class and i had made such a simple mistake right off the bat. i was scared sara was going to be mad at me, but while i trotted toward her out of the arena she was waiting for me with a smile. she took me over to the warm up arena and had me go over a cross rail a few times at the canter and then over a vertical about 2' high a couple times as well. it was all very smooth, gerry and i were riding well together. sara had us jump together so that we ended on a good note. she gave us a few minutes alone and we just walked around the arena. i almost started to cry because i was so disappointed. a few minutes later jon came up to us and we started to talk before we were cut off by the loud speaker announcing the results to the first cross rail class. they announced 165 Original Concept and Alexandra Hagerman as the first place winners!!! even though i had went down to the trot and picked up the left lead prematurely, we won first place out of 4 people! i could not believe it! the only, and i mean ONLY other time i have ever won anything was in 9th or 10th grade when i won first place in a piano competition. it immediately lifted my spirits and i could tell gerry felt better too. sara pinned the blue ribbon to his bridle and we got our photos taken. it was such a good moment.

i could go on and on about both sara and gerry. gerry is such an awesome horse. the biggest worry i had going into the show was that gerry was going to get excited and bolt through the jumps like he sometimes does at home. i got thrown off one time, but it was only because my balance was off, not because he bucked or anything. during the show he went at my pace the entire time. he didn't pick up his speed before the jumps or after, he was so calm and collected. it is so cute that he comes down to my level and lets me do these simple things on him and he doesn't show his boredom or anything. he picked up every correct lead after the jumps and totally took care of me. when we picked up the incorrect lead the first couple classes it was because i wasn't asking him how i was supposed to and we joked that he was trying to teach me that he's not going to do it unless i learn how to do it right. he is such a good teacher:) i must note that he is also such a professional. he wore a halter up to the show with his show name Original Concept written on it, rode in a luxury horse trailer and was calm the entire time. most horses would get spooked or excited or nervous in situations like that. he loaded into and unloaded off of the trailer like it was no big deal. he is seasoned and it is so lovable! at one point during the class when me and the other girls had our horses lined up, the horse next to us got nervous and started backing up into gerry. gerry looked back like he couldn't believe they were doing that during the class. adorable.
then there is sara. she, corina and jon stood in the corner of the arena far enough away from the judge that sara could instruct me quietly whenever i got to the corner. every time i got near her i'd listen closely for her instructions. "heels down. toes forward. bigger trot. give him his head." and sometimes when i'd pass by her all she would say was "beautiful a.j. you're perfect. really good job. smile, breathe." jon and corina recorded the classes and i love watching them so much. sara had commentary most of the time, even when i was 100 yards away on the opposite side of the arena. interestingly enough, often when she would give me instructions while i was all the way over there, you'd see me responding. most specifically: right before i went into my first class she told me to breathe and count to three before picking up the canter when they told us to. i was on the opposite side of the arena when they asked us to pick up the canter and in the video you hear sara saying "one. two. three. pressure with the inside leg, nose to the inside, kick him with the outside leg." and i picked it up right then. that just goes to show that she is a consistent and precise teacher and that i value her instruction. (in the second video at :22 you can hear her kiss and i pick up the canter right then. amazing, right??) she is such an awesome teacher. i loved how calm she kept me the whole morning, how supportive she was and how kind her constructive criticism was. she said that i fixed something every time i went into a new class and i consider that a huge success. jon told me later that when i won first place sara said "that made me day. no, that made my week. actually, that made my life." from that you can see that she is invested and cares so much about her students. it makes my heart hurt to think about leaving and having to find a new instructor and a new horse to ride. i can't picture trusting anyone as much as i trust both gerry and sara.
the day as a whole was perfect. i think i needed to get disqualified to see sara's kind reaction to it, hear her advice and to be able to feel sadness in order to appreciate the true happiness of the day. getting the blue ribbon was so much sweeter after that.
i promise i'm going to write a blog about why i started riding and my whole experience so far. until then, i will share one more thing. in the weeks leading up to the show, two of sara's friends starting teaching her to rock climb. she was so focussed on reaching the bell at the top that she wasn't looking at the holdings right in front of her. they instructed her that it isn't about the top of the wall, its about the next step ahead of you. i have been so nervous about my show (i have had a rough time cantering a whole course in my lessons) and sara knew that. she explained to me that the course isn't 6 jumps as a whole, it is about 6 individual jumps. focussing on the jump after the one you are heading towards isn't going to help you on the jump you're approaching. isn't that life? it is so easy to get worried about where/when/if jon and i are going buy a house, what he's going to major in, what my career path is going to be, when we are having children, what jon is going to do for a living and where we will end up once he's finished with school. focussing on what he's going to do once he finishes school doesn't help our immediate worry about getting all of our pets and belongings safely to texas in june. life is about many individual moments and its silly to worry about them all at once.
so much of my experience learning to ride has pertained to real life. like i said, i will write a whole post about my experience so far and why i love it so much. in the meantime, i'm going to go watch my show videos a million more times while i kiss and cuddle my ribbons.

home.

the last weekend in march we packed up our house, drove two days to san antonio, tx and moved all of our belongings into a storage unit. we house hunted, rode the horse, and made ourselves comfortable in the hagerman home. we got back on sunday and the next time we go to texas in june, it'll be the real deal.
a video:
Home from Alexandra Hagerman on Vimeo.

we're really doing it.

(insert emotionally distressed emoji here)

goodbye first house: bedroom

the last room in the house is our bedroom:

 we have a tiny bed and we constantly fought over how much space the other person was taking up. during the olympics we took our mattress downstairs into the front room for two weeks and pushed it up against the couch. while we were down there, i slept up against the couch and that meant jon got most of the bed! we decided that maybe it'd be better if we pushed our bed into the corner of the room so that i could sleep up against the wall and we'd both be more comfortable. (i don't like sleeping close to the edge of the bed when its in the middle of the room, scary!!) it looks funny having our bed like this, especially since that means the rest of the furniture is lined up on the opposing wall, but it's actually helped a lot! the only thing i don't like is reaching over jon to turn on and off the lamp, and not having a place to plug in my phone.

(mouse!)

i think i posted about this before. jon used to go to work before i woke up and sometimes i was so sleepy i couldn't even say i love you! so i used push pins to spell ILY right by the door so that he knew i loved him every time he left the room, even if i didn't say it. the light switch cover is the one that was in my granny's bedroom forever.

i must say that our room never looks like this. maybe on the first day that we have guests. the floor is usually covered in clothes and shoes! but that's what makes it homey, right?!
i am writing this while i should be studying for my midterm tomorrow. it's been awhile since i've just sat down and written my thoughts like i used to.
it is our last night here in this house. i don't think it has hit me yet, it seems surreal. i did get a dose of reality when we were packing today. in the winter marines wear green cammies. they change to their desert (tan) cammies in the spring and wear them until fall. they just switched from green to tan when the time changed. that means jon won't be wearing his green cammies anymore...who knows if he will ever wear them again. we took out all the drawers from his dresser and he and his dad took the dresser out to the u-haul. i saw his drawer sitting in the middle of the floor filled with his green cammies that he is sending to storage for an indefinite amount of time. it made my heart hurt...a lot. it's enough to have to say goodbye to our first little house and move in with someone else. it's really sad to leave san diego, the place where we've spent our entire marriage, our friends, my school. but to think about leaving the military...that is more heart wrenching than the others. we can come back to san diego, we can come see our friends, i'll be back next year to graduate from my school. but come May 3rd, jon will no longer be wearing his uniform everyday. he won't be able to say "I'm a Marine." i will no longer be a Marine Wife. I mean, i will...but it just won't be the same. it is quite difficult to explain. it's just been amazing to have my spouse do something we are both so proud of. i'm proud that my husband went to afghanistan. i'm proud that he enlisted on his own free will. i'm proud that he has known since he was a child that he wanted to do this and proud that he chose the marine corps because it is the toughest branch(wink). i know we need to move on from this. jon has so much to give the world, so much more than the marine corps will allow him to do. he's starting school in june and i know he will do awesome!  he's had an internship this spring and met a lot of prevalent people who were impressed by him. i know he's going to do great in whatever he decides to do. i am sad to leave california, but i'm ready to be in a state where i can (hopefully) find a job that doesn't require me to mop before i go home, is that too much to ask?
i could ramble on and on, but i really must get to studying. we are packing up the trailer tomorrow and checking out of our house. tomorrow night we are going to sleep at the isaac's (that's who we will be living with when we come back to san diego on april 7th) and then saturday morning the three of us are road-tripping from san diego to san antonio! jon and my FIL tried to warn me about how tiny the middle seat was in the u-haul, but i told them to stop. i wanted to be surprised. i don't deserve to dread the roadtrip three days before we leave. i'll deal it with saturday morning.
wish us (me) luck!

this is our life right now.

we are such a mess! whoever thought it'd be a good idea to have jon and a.j. pack up their house by themselves was mistaken. 

i am a daring chick posting these photos. see what we are living with? it is the worst! nothing has a place. 

we cleared out the linen closet (everything but our D.I. pile) and bandit immediately jumped up there to lounge. 

my FIL gets here on wednesday to help us pack up the U-Haul and we head to texas on saturday. so sad to leave our house!

i think now you can see why we've been stress eating: 

amidst the chaos, we've recently taken a liking to screaming "HUMAN SCWEW!" and using our pointer finger to painfully "screw" into the other persons ribs. part of the fun is seeing who can scream human screw loudest and most like a child. do you think my in-laws will like living with people who scream for entertainment?

 on friday we finally got to go on a trail ride together! jon hasn't ridden any of the horses since i've been riding, so i was really excited to have him up there with me. he rode a 5 year old mare named Magic. she was so sweet. i rode old reliable, gerry, who only spooked once when he heard a sprinkler nearby. he is such a calm chap, i love riding him. 

i'm so obsessed with this series of photos:

saturday was a rough day. it was my gran's birthday, her first since she's been gone. all day i was wishing i could call her and hear her silly little laugh and hear her ask "how you doin, dear?"

my dad called me in the early afternoon to tell me that my kitty back home died. i knew as soon as i picked up and heard him say "hi..." that it was about the cat. it was an unfortunate mishap involving a garage door. i think it sounds as bad as it was. it broke my heart.

(this was the first time my granny and chrissy had seen each other after a few months. they were both so happy!)

saturday afternoon we took bandit up to our old roommate, hanke's, house to stay until we officially leave for texas in may. i kept telling him that he was going to live with hanke and he obviously acted like he didn't understand, but i swear on friday and saturday morning-he knew! he was being soo cuddly and sweet all morning, it was not usual. it was really sad dropping him off and was just a reminder of what this move really means-lots of big and scary changes.

 look at those eyes. terrified.
it's not that alarming though, he's had a shocked look on his face since we got him:

after dropping bandit off, we went to the mall for some retail therapy. when we left the mall, jon handed me the bag and said "happy birthday." my birthday is next month, so i thought this was his easy way of getting me a gift. when i said "that's mean." he replied, "remember, your gran would get you gifts on other peoples birthday's so you wouldn't feel left out? i got you a gift on her birthday."

 we got balloons in my grandma's favorite colors and sent a card up up up into the sky. it was surprisingly relieving to watch them go and disappear into the heavens.

determined to have a better day sunday, we woke up at 5am (normal for jon, horrible for me!!) to head downtown for the hot chocolate 5k! 

we ran it with sara, it was really fun! the course was actually very challenging with tons of huge hills and quite a bit of downhills as well (my thighs are so sore from the downhills). my 5k personal record is 29:39 and i was really hoping to beat that, but i didn't. the hills were what were so hard and my nike+ sensor died so i didn't have it make sure i stayed on track to beat my time. however, if i hadn't been trying to keep up with jon the whole time, i wouldn't have finished as fast as i did! 

(jon is beautiful isn't he? he's also really sweet and put chocolate on my mouth right before the photo...)

they gave us a mug with hot chocolate and fondue with all these things to dip in it like a banana, pretzels and marshmallows. in theory, getting rewarded after a race with chocolate is an awesome idea. in reality, it was quite unpleasant. it didn't feel like we had ran a race at all, the chocolate totally cancelled out the good post-race feeling you usually have! but would i do it again? definitely. 

goodbye first house: upstairs/guest room/bathroom

we have a little bitty upstairs with two bedrooms, a full bathroom, a walk in closet and a linen closet. marines are issued a lot of bulky gear and have tons of different accessories to go with all their uniforms (seriously). base housing understands that, so we have tons of storage! its awesome. 

the first door on the right is the guest bedroom, the second door on the right is our bedroom. across from our bedroom is the bathroom. the second door on the left is the walk in storage closet and the first door on the left is the linen closet.

our guest bedroom is frightful. we had a roommate for a few months and after he left i didn't do anything to liven the room up. the only thing we ever use it for is homework and the occasional sewing project and whenever we have guests. this room has actually seen a lot of visitors which we have loved sooo much. we are so lucky to have friends and family willing to make the drive or flight out here to see us and stay in our humble home. 

our bathroom has stayed the same since we moved in. i brought the two pictures and iron detail from my dads house when we got married, they hung in my bathroom for years while i lived there. the picture of audrey is one that i bought from a street seller in nyc when i lived there. the poem is by Sam Levenson but credit is often given to audrey. i got the poem when i was in young women's from one of my leaders.

i printed that quote from a taylor swift song and colored the little heart. i have so loved sharing this experience in san diego with jon, all by ourselves. 

my friend katie and i went to a 'retreat' type thing when our guys were deployed where they waxed our eyebrows, gave us massages and had other fun activities which were all free. we made bath salts while we were there and i still have mine. i'll bet its not very good in the bath, but it looks cute. we got the 'dream' plaque for our wedding and the toothpaste jar is from the titanic (i'm obsessed with the titanic)! not really, but the real versions were in the rooms of the titanic. we went to an exhibit for my birthday last year and jon got this for me. i keep my dainty bracelets in there.