weekend fun/wk 15.

my weekend spent in huntington was so fun. 

i got there late friday night. not too late to miss out on amanda and nephi's yummy homemade pizza though.

we ate and watched the not funny episode of the office. 

ugh, it's so awful. they should have stopped after season three. 

saturday morning, we woke up before the sun.

got ready for the hike, and left.

it was a "moderately easy" hike that i struggled through.

nephi posted about it here.

yes, we saw a live tarantula. (!!!)

it was such a fun weekend. 

my favorite part besides the food, beach, hike and family time was singing on rockband.

i also loved seeing nephi really rocking out on the 'guitar' while amanda sang T swift.

St. George

at the end of July, jon and I went to st. george with my family!

it was such a ball. we spent most of the time...in the pool.

but we also wore swimsuits backwards and stretched our limbs.

and we compared muscles. sorry jon...

on saturday, we hiked the narrows. 

i usually don't like to hike, but this was so fun.

i wonder why i don't like hiking? here...let me hold that for you.

twin moms and cute babies.

i thought this was so funny and cute. little robbie.

here are all the kids! this was at the beginning of the water hike.

<3

i seriously loved hiking through the water.

and i loved playing with the doll.

(I meant to type this doll. the doll is pretty darn funny though.)

she is so precious.

and so is he. look at my boy, sleeping away.

two cuties.

(see how good jon's new picture smile is?? so handsome!)

here is the whole group. such good company.

doesn't this look like a paparazzi shot? or maybe i just want it to...?

we hiked as far as we wanted, then turned around. jon, sam, and I decided to get all the way in the water and just float down the river. it was so relaxing. and cold. 

the rest of the weekend was spent reading, nintendo-ing, and playing who wants to be a millionaire.

swimming!

and eating, obviously. 

yummm.

since i LOVED the hike soo much, this guy invited me to go hiking this weekend. 

it's called the bridge to nowhere. 

it is somewhat similar to the narrows, we'll be passing through water.

and it is ten miles. 

ten. 

miles. 

i haven't asked nephi yet if its ten miles in, ten miles back. 

i dont think i'll ask him until we finish.

oh, and i guess she can come too.

nephi talked me into it by sending me this email-

"I think this commenter said it best:

"After passing through the river a bunch of times (so much fun!) and about 4.5 miles in, we called it quits. Why? We got a late start (2 pm) and it was starting to get a bit dark... 

Upon return, we realized we were a mere 10 minutes-ish away from the bridge.

Though we “gave up” and never found the Bridge to Nowhere, we built a stronger bridge — a metaphorical bridge that connected the five of our hearts. A bridge we’ll never forget."

that could be US!!"

eat, pray, love...again.

I saw the movie tonight.

i liked it. i knew i would.

i usually hate the movies everyone loves, and love the movies everyone hates.

I like the worst movies. "Because I said So"? One of my favorites. 

i liked it because it made me think. a lot.
i typed a whole blog.
turns out, it was really personal.
i made a journal last night at relief society.
I've been writing in it. i'm going to give it to jon when he gets back. 
so he won't feel like he missed out on anything.


there was one part in the movie where she was describing a building.

"A friend took me to the most amazing place the other day. It's called the Augusteum. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came they trashed it, along with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome's first true great emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, would be in ruins? It's one of the quietest, loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won't let go of because it hurts too good. 
...
Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured - the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, it's just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. 
Ruin is the road to transformation."

this goes along with this entry.

then here is a quote from the book. she is referring to God.  

“I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert 

one of my all time favorite quotes here. 


and lastly,

"To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life."

i miss jon tonight. in a good way.

i love him.

the day after we got married.

wk 14.

this picture makes me look a lot sadder than i really am.

tomorrow morning, it'll be a whole week since jon left.

we are 4% done with this whole deployment.

that makes me REALLY happy, because this week has gone by SO fast! already 4%!

i'm doing really well, and honestly, it's a lot easier than I expected.

i expected the worst, and didn't plan on hearing from Jon ever. 

he's been in transit, so he's been able to contact me a lot. its been really good. 

i hadn't heard from him for a couple days and then he called me last night. 

we got to talk for 7 minutes, and that will tide me over for awhile.

i love him.

i made that paper chain on saturday.

patriotic colors to remind me why he is gone.

also, i got my hero bracelet today with jon's name on it 

it was a good day.

xoxo.

gonegonegone.

jon left this week.

he's now somewhere in the middle east. 

maybe i should have written this post when i was feeling good, i'm starting to be sad.

we had fun the day before he left. 

we got our reimbursement back for the move...

$$$$$$$

we got twice as much back than we expected.

that amount also happened to be equal to two of jon's paychecks. 

we paid all of our bills so that we were a paycheck ahead on them, and then.....

spent spent spent. 

we got lunch, went to barnes and noble to get books for him to take with him and a book for me to read,

best buy to get a hard drive to back up both of our computers in case they crash in the next 7 months, 

headphones for jon to take with him, work out stuff for him, 

and my darling got me such a beautiful coach purse.

the best part about that is, there was only one left and there was a minor stratch, 

so they gave us 5% off.

also, in two weeks, the purses are going on sale for 15% off. I just need to take in my receipt and they will give me money back.

they're like...paying me for using their purse. 

it was so awesome being able to spend freely, it was such a fun last day to have him here.

oh, did i mention that we paid off his credit card and my credit card this week??

then i made cookies for jon to take with him on the plane(s).

i tried to make the frosting RED for marine corps colors...it turned out pink.

i sent my husband to afghanistan with pink cookies.

that night, we went on a date. 

his hair cut is a joke, fyi. he wanted to get a flattop for his deployment.

he's so so awful.

we went to bed at a reasonable time, knowing we had to wake up early.

i woke up earlier than i expected, however. at 1:50 am to be exact. 

my angry, angry stomach woke me up, screaming at me, telling me i had to throw up.

i hadn't felt anxious or an overwhelming feeling of anticipation until that time.

and boy was i anxious.

i woke jon up and told him i wasn't going to take him to Camp Pendleton to drop him off.

jon has been working about an hour away for three months.

every morning around 4-5:20, jon would kiss me goodbye.

i'd barely wake up enough to say 'i love you'.

on the days that jon got to go in later,

(appointment, or something...)

i would wake up and we would talk. 

and it was the hardest ever for him to leave and for me to watch him leave.

so, for months, i have been telling him that on the day of his deployment, 

i wanted him to just kiss me goodbye while i was asleep.

it was a joke. but the morning before he had to leave, i wasn't joking. 

he rubbed my tummy until i fell asleep.

when he woke me up at 4, i knew i had to take him.

he woke me up, undressed me (uh), and carried me to the shower.

(what am i going to do while he's gone when i have to wake up early? 

i simply can not get myself out of bed sometimes...)

then we were on our way to camp pendleton.

this is us at 5 am...feelin pretty good about the situation.

jon was assigned to be a Guardian Angel. meaning, he had to stay awake at every stop to make sure everything was okay, also it meant that he got to carry rounds with his gun...

doesnt he look like such a nice guardian angel??

we waited...and waited. until finally the buses came around 845.

so we said our goodbyes. just hugged, and cried.

it was so hard to say goodbye.

i love him dearly, and i just want him to be safe.

i'm so proud of him though, and know that 7-8 months will go by fast.

we've been preparing for this since march.

remember?

so i've got this.

i'm not going to say it doesn't suck.

but the good parts about it?

finally i can sleep through the night, i'm not constantly pushing jon back onto his 'side' of our full sized bed.

and

the extra $$, obviously. paying off bills and saving saving.

and thats about it.

as soon as i returned home from camp pendleton, i came home to this.

little rumbi, licking the tears off my face.

she is such a good companion.

she is biting me 99.9% of the time, but she sure does keep me company.

when i get out of the shower, i open the door to see her laying on the carpet in the hallway.

when i'm working, she's sleeping at my feet under the desk.

when i'm eating, she's sitting on my lap at the table.

when i'm sleeping, she's also sleeping (or biting my fingers and playing with my hair) on jon's pillow.

she runs to the door when i get home, cries when she thinks i left but am really just upstairs, and jumps around so happy when i wake up in the morning, hours after she first started biting my hand.

in fact, this is her positioning right now. i love her.

and lastly.

here is my jar of candies.

see how its already almost empty!!?

i've already eaten two.

come home soon, baby.


p.s.
kelli, thank you for flattering me. 
and making me feel better about my poorly planned wedding. :)

c.s.lewis.

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. 

What on earth is He up to? 

The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

wk 13.

at pizza fusion with my baybay.

how about we go on another date in 8 months, jon?

in the meantime...

i'll be thinking of you all the time.

thanks for giving me a reason to hang a yellow ribbon at my door.

ps.

i'm feeling very small today.