eek

we are finally and officially moving to texas on friday and i am openly frightened. 

we have been in utah for over two weeks and i'm so comfortable. i wish we would have gone from san diego straight to san antonio and came to visit utah a couple months down the road. it's made it hard to come here and feel really comfortable and have to pick up and move again.

i was talking to my cousin barb tonight (pictured above). i told her i was nervous about the move because we feel good in utah and i have a hard time making friends in new places. we've been in san diego on our own for three years (our entire marriage) but i'm still nervous about being alone in texas. isn't that odd? also we're moving in with jon's family so we will be by our parents for the first time ever so we won't actually be alone. i think it's mostly moving away from my family that makes me feel so sad/lonely.

my dad got open heart surgery a week ago. he had four bypasses done and he's been recovering so well. jon and i have both been able to spend a lot of time with him during the whole process and it's been awesome! i feel like i'm moving away from home for the first time all over again.

anyway, back to barb. she has been through a lot in her life, major ups and downs. she is the funniest, most stylish and feminine person i know. she is also a powerful business woman, which is the best part about her. she is also very charismatic. whenever i have a job interview, first day of school or am simply going to a church activity alone i have to channel my inner barb and plan to be nice and outgoing. she has a lot of great characteristics, i could go on and on. 

she told me that moving is one of the top five most stressful things you will do in life. she also said to just plan on it being hard. its going to be difficult and if you plan for it, you won't be caught off guard. she also talked about our femininity. it is a beautiful thing to be feminine and no one should be able to make you feel bad about it. it sounds like a silly thing, but the fact that she brought that up really made me think. i'm rambling but i didn't want to forget what she told me. its going to be a big and difficult change moving way from all of our friends in san diego, friends AND family in utah. it will be weird living in the same city for a long period of time with a set of parents, especially living in their house with them. it will be a bit claustrophobic not having our own home, but it won't be for forever and it'll be really nice to be able to spend so much time with john and kathy. i need to remember that while i'm there and remember that this is a special time for the four of us to be living together under one roof. knowing that it will be a big change for us should help us come to terms with it and help us move forward with our lives in regards to finding friends, jobs and hobbies in san antonio. also i refuse to lose any of my femininity although i will be sweating my butt off all summer and living on a farm (basically) with a horse, one cat, four dogs and 6 chickens. if you start seeing too many pictures of me wearing boy clothes and not doing my hair, please nicely remind me that sometimes wearing a bracelet or perfume can turn your whole day around. thank you in advance and although this post reveals that yes, maybe i do have some anxiety still lingering from my teens/early 20's, i am actually very excited for our next life adventure. my cute girlfriend kim commented on one of my posts a few months ago about our move. she and mike have moved 5 times all around utah and to washington dc. she confirmed that it can be difficult, but that it isn't so bad when you are moving with your spouse. she said "the happy thing is that home is wherever jon is. you will be surprised how easily you will settle somewhere new together." those are some really great words of comfort. i have some sweet friends, don't i?