that's the way i loved you....

He is sensible and so incredible.
And all my single friends are jealous.
He says everything I need to hear and it’s like I couldn’t ask for anything better.
He opens up my door and I get into his car, and he says "You look beautiful tonight."
And I feel perfectly fine.
He respects my space and never makes me wait.
And he calls exactly when he says he will.
He’s close to my mother, talks business with my father.
He’s charming and endearing and I’m comfortable.
He can’t see the smile I’m faking, and my heart’s not breaking.
CUZ I'M NOT FEELING ANYTHING AT ALL.


BUT I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain. It’s 2 AM and I’m cursing your name. I’m so in love that I acted insane. And that’s the way I loved you. Breakin down and coming undone, it’s a roller-coaster kinda rush.
And I never knew I could feel that much and that’s the way I loved you....

wisdom teeth.

i got my wisdom teeth out yesterday. right now is a good time to type because i took loritab 3 hours and 15 minutes ago and am about to take them in 15 minutes. they really affect me. even after taking them so long ago i'm a bit tips.

so lyndsi's mother took me to the doctor yesterday and of course i don't remember a thing. the doctor was worried about me because i guess i was trippin from the drug he gave me to fall asleep. he said it was really light weight or some shi. he told me to never do real drugs but i'm sure he tells that to everyone to they all get too scared to do drugs. he didnt scare me out of it though. so i'll put a couple pictures on here of the past days. i just redosed and am already feeling it.
okay here are pictures.
day 1- richard took this and its really hard to smile thats why i look like such a beeyatch in these.

day 2

i miss you oscar.

my good friend oscar left on a mission a couple weeks ago. he was one of my best friends in new york city, and is an amazing rap artist/singer/song writer. he wrote this for me.

this is not a love song
but a friend song
to a beauty in my eye
yeah her soul give me life
every time's a delight
when i spend time with her
she rises up my temperature
cute and she knows it
but i wont let her go with the impression that i love her
as a lover
but i love her as a friend
but lets not pretend
any guy in my shoes would make all types of moves
but i just play it cool cuz i dont wanna lose
what we have right here is way more valuable
there's not many things betta than having a laugh with you
you're like the sister i never had
we've walked similar paths
we both lost our moms
and we grew up with just dads
and we came out pretty good
we both look pretty good
we both act pretty hood
at times misunderstood
i'm not too worried about it
you're such a sass
you're so sweet but fiesty
you're so street but classy
you are a guys dream
i'm so lucky to know ya
i may need some visine
as my eyes fill with water
as we go our separate ways
i hope you never forget me
and know that i think the world of you.

i recorded two videos of him singing the same rap. they are both the same video but in the first one he starts laughing at the end. i couldn't just watch the second one though because he's way too serious.



p.s. we tried to get him to do one that wasn't religious but he refused. he was set apart as a missionary when we taped these so he said he felt weird doing any others, haha.

his friends tried to get me to hug him, but oscar wouldnt have it.

school project.

I had to ask 5 people what they would want to be renown for and why. I asked my dad via text and he said.

Dad - "World Peace. Lol."
Me - "Why?"
Dad - "That's what all the Miss America contestants say."


thanks.

"welcome back to new york, sweetheart."

its crazy being back. its not like a vacation, its so normal.
i'm really happy to be back. i've had a lot of alone time, wandering around the city, loving the humidity and the shopping and the people, all the crazy people.
i havent taken many pictures, but i will try to. and post them on here.

today i was taking the staten island ferry and there was a seagull flying next to the ferry the whole way from staten to manhattan which it like a 20 minute ride. and people were throwing nuts and m&ms off the side of the boat and the seagull was doing all these crazy dives and everything catching the food in the air before it hit the water.....it was the weirdest thing ever. why dont seagulls in utah do such things? if they did, they MIGHT be more respected.

i wanna wake up in a city that doesn't sleep.

i'm going to new york tomorrow.

i am so
nervous
scared
anxious
excited
excited
excited.

i have no idea what it will be like. i'm so scared that i wont want to come home and that i'll regret ever moving back.

but i am so excited to see all of my friends, its going to be such a good reunion.

i cant wait to
get my hair done!
go to adam's game.
see oscar and attend the farewell! with many people that i have missed dearly.
shop!
live the ghetto life that i deserve in good ol wash heights.

i'll get there 5 am friday.
i will report what it is like. wish me luck.



i am so excited.

poor delton.

Devin: "Hey is Delton there?"
Devin: "Hey Delton this is Devin from Fortune Academy, how are you doing?!"
Devin: "What part of making money doesn't interest you?"
Devin: "Okay bye."
Devin: "Hey Josh, he answered and i asked if delton was there and he said no and i was like hey delton this is devin!"

i work in the front office with like 5 guys making calls behind us, and we hear the funniest stuff.